


Dreaming Mechanical Doll

by undeadrabbit



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Being Akechi is suffering, Body Horror, Codependency, Existential Crisis, First Kiss, First Time, Grooming, Half the fic is going to be tags, Invasion of Privacy, M/M, Medical Procedures, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Police Brutality, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide, This is fucking hilarious, Unhealthy Relationships, Violent Murders, blowjob, but like not really, dysmorphia, handjob, listen its hard to explain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2020-05-12 06:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadrabbit/pseuds/undeadrabbit
Summary: After the fight with Shido, Ren and company stumble across the prone for of... Akechi. But that can't be. They all... The signal was gone... How did...?He's completely unscathed; and... are those ports on his nape?[Tag update] 20/03/2020: Body Horror, but like not really, listen its hard to explain





	1. A Weapon

Ren doesn't know why it's surprising that Akechi's lips are soft. They're warm, soft and a little wet, like all lips. But somehow Ren expected something else.

Maybe it's because Akechi always comes off as something else. A whole new breed; some sort of chimera or shapeshifter, always changing in form for one reason or another. But kissing him was like kissing anyone else; and yet…different. Somehow, it's still different.

Ren can't fathom why. 

He has half a mind to keep going, swallowing all the precious hums and gasps, but he can sense the minute attempts to pull away and so Ren does. He pulls away, lets Akechi breathe, and the small smile the boy gives him is in itself as breathtaking as the kiss itself. The beautiful boy's cheeks are dusted pink, pupils blown wide as they take in Ren.

They reconnect. This time, Akechi holds Ren's face with one hand as his fingers curl around the back of Ren's neck. Ren's hands hold the detective's hips, flush against his, where he can feel Akechi's blatant arousal. It spurs him on, makes him a fraction hungrier; yet as they collapse on the bed as a tangle of limbs, Ren separates and admires the angel beneath him.

Butterscotch threads that feel like feathers; that's how Ren can describe carding his fingers through Akechi's hair. It's mesmerizing to watch how the strands slip through his fingers like how water flows. Running his fingers through them, tangling his fingers in them, is addicting. Watching yet a little more of Akechi unravel as he lightly tugs at the brunet's hair is addicting.

The boy's skin is visibly flawless as far as Ren can see; but with the way they once again come together, spill breathy moans into each other, it's not long before their individual layers are stripped away. Akechi lets Ren look, lets him run his hands over every inch of soft skin, lets him kiss the planes of his chest and abdomen. All the while, he gives a few soft laughs and fewer surprised gasps.

When Akechi's legs fall apart and the sensitive, slick skin touch—grind—against each other, it stops feeling like Ren is worshipping Akechi. It feels more like tainting something godly. And Akechi lets him. Welcomes his fingers and more, tightens around him, moans into him. Akechi clutches Ren desperately, buries his face against Ren's neck as he tries to catch his breath. And Ren can only do the same.

It starts slow and sensual, before they get more and more desperate. They rock against each other again and again and again, then Ren circles his fingers around the other's girth. He relishes in the way Akechi unravels beneath him.

It's intoxicating to watch someone so ephemeral fall into base desires; to watch a shapeshifter shed its skin. An angel that soared out of reach out everyone, suddenly brought down to their level.

Made human, just like the rest of them.

* * *

 

Ren, Yusuke, Makoto, Haru and Sojiro all plop down the unconscious 'Akechi' onto the floor of Futaba's room. The rest of the Thieves remain downstairs, all forms of exhausted—and understandably so. Ryuji especially. Ryuji deserved to kick back and relax.

After being blown away by the explosion, it seems Ryuji had landed by chance in the greenery. Not too far away, he spotted Akechi's unconscious form. He called for the rest of the Thieves, pointed out Akechi and soon they were surrounding the unconscious body.

Ren had bent down, tried to shake Akechi awake. When no response came, Ren checked his pulse.

There was nothing.

It actually felt…hard. When Ren pressed against Akechi's neck, it felt a lot like there was a slab of metal underneath it. But that couldn't be right. Ren  _ knows  _ it couldn't be right. He checked again and again, unsure of what he was looking for, much to the confusion of the Thieves.

Then, he found it. Not what he was looking for by any stretch; but it got him to stop.

At the back of Akechi's neck were a series of ports. He couldn't recognize what kind of cables they catered to, but Futaba did.

They called Sojiro, hauled Akechi into the car, out of it, up to the second floor…

Ren had yet to really process anything.

"This might take a while," Futaba says to them. "It's really boring and stuff, so you guys should probably wait downstairs until I can get him running."

They nod and take their leave; except Ren, who stays. Futaba doesn't seem surprised, only concerned. She doesn't say anything though; she simply gets to work, booting her computer and connecting unfamiliar cables to the ports down his neck.

As Ren sits against Futaba's bed, head angled to the ceiling, he lets the sounds wash over him as he tries to process everything. The sound of her computer whirring louder than he's ever heard it makes for good white noise.

He definitely remembers kissing Akechi silly. Definitely remembers how soft and warm Akechi was, inside and out. He can't forget even if he tried. So what is this? Why is Akechi now…

Could it be that he's always been like this? 

It makes sense, considering Akechi was practically superhuman when they fought. Bullets seemed to glance off him, slashing him did nothing… maybe when he wasn't expecting a fight he didn't have layer of armor under silicone.

Touching his skin back then definitely felt like warm silicone, now that Ren thought about it.

"Holy shit."

"What is it?"

Futaba shakes her head, muttering under her breath. From where Ren sat, he could only see a sliver of her screen and he couldn't be bothered to get up. He looks to Akechi, seated on the ground with legs straight and pressed together, hands on his lap. A mechanical doll, simply sleeping. 

Ren feels a little closer to Akechi; much closer. Before he knows it, he's actually right next to Akechi, touching his face. Yes, with a touch this light, the boy feels like a real person.

Suddenly, Futaba is off her chair. She grabs Ren's wrist and tugs him. Ren obeys and is dragged along as they rush downstairs, until Futaba lets go.

"Futaba, did you find something?"

She takes a deep breath. "Okay, so… I had a preliminary look around. He has a  _ lot  _ of data stored inside. Most of it is encrypted; really good encryption too. And I need to write up a program to read some other files. That'll take a few days."

"Um, why can't we just switch him on?" Haru asks. "I don't think there's any need to rifle around his head like that…"

Futaba takes another deep breath. She seems on the verge of a panic. "That's the cognition."

"What?" Ren can't process  _ this _ either.

"That's the cognition." Futaba shakes. "Of the non-encrypted files were his production details, and it labelled him as Munin; made three years prior, but was first activated last year. He's a 'Palace Cognitive Weapon' and he's loaded with built-in firearms. I don't know where they're built in or what  _ is  _ built in."

Ryuji yells. "For real?! What the hell does that mean?!"

"He's a weapon." Futaba fiddles with her hands. "Specifically made by Shido, and whatever engineers under him, to defend the Palace. And heavily armed as is."

Morgana hums. "The cognition had a gun, though…?"

"Maybe he didn't know he was a robot."

"But…" Makoto's eyebrows furrow. "But Akechi didn't seem aware of the cognition either, so how did he get in—?"

"Maybe they have multiple files of the Nav? God, I don't know!"

Futaba stares at the ground, fists clenched at her sides, as Ren can practically see the thoughts racing through her head. It's admittedly a lot to take in, and more than mildly disconcerting. After all, right upstairs is what is essentially a hostile tank they have no control over.

"... What should we do?" Makoto looks right at Ren as she asks, but Ren can't even put the pieces together properly.

He can't think of their next move, much less a plan of action, but he  _ does _ know that he wants to see what happened at the other side of the barrier. The only problem is: who knows what looking through encrypted files will do? Would it accidentally activate him? It didn't seem safe to tamper with an armed  _ weapon  _ without some kind of guide. What was even his power source? What if he was charged? Is he charging right  _ now _ ?

Then, it hits him. "I think I might know someone who can disarm the cognition."

"Huh?" Morgana's tail twitches. "Wait, you don't mean Iwai?"

"I do."

"This is a robot!"

"A robot with firearms." Ren crosses his arms. "Iwai would at least know better than we do the ideal points to place firearms—or bullets at least. We've never even handled a  _ real  _ gun so  _ we  _ definitely can't do it, and who knows what's equipped on him?"

Morgana's tail flicks.

Sojiro cuts in. "Hold on, who is Iwai and where is this happening?"

"Iwai is a friend. And…" Ren pauses. "I… don't know where. But it won't be here—or LeBlanc. I'll find a way."

The rest of the team and Sojiro all look unsure, but whether it's because of his plan or the entire situation as a whole, Ren doesn't know. He doesn't ask; instead they agree to take their chances with Iwai, then spend the rest of their time hammering out a plan of action.

The cognition couldn't stay in Futaba's room; she wouldn't have it for obvious reasons. So they disconnected him and hauled him into a closet, locking the door. If he activated suddenly in the middle of the night—because honestly, who knows if he could switch himself on—Sojiro and Morgana would hear him smashing the door.

Futaba would go with Ren for the night. Everyone else would be on guard, by their phones in case something happened.

Their plan: call Iwai to disarm him, then wait for Futaba to finish programming. Then, look through whatever files he had stored. What happens after isn't as much of a concern to Ren as it should be.

Admittedly, Ren's relieved that they all want to know what happened to Akechi too. He was afraid they'd be against it, but it seems Ren wasn't the only one looking for closure. Though if he's being honest, he probably needs it the most of all of them. Now that Shido's treasure is stolen, they have the time to at least find out if Akechi survived or not.

When the team felt a little more confident, they separated for the night. Ren and Futaba wish Sojiro a good night as they carry the girl's things back to LeBlanc.

They set up for the night in relative silence. Futaba takes the couch, insisting she was short enough for it and liked the small space anyway. She falls asleep the moment her head hits the cushions, without even changing out of her winter jacket. Poor girl must have drained herself.

Ren on the other hand doesn't fall asleep instantly despite the heaviness in his bones. He instead stares at the ceiling, watching the dust motes idle under pale moonlight.

* * *

 

There are nights Akechi comes to him a little more pent up, a little angrier than usual. And he  _ is  _ usually angry. He has so much anger deep down and Ren's not sure if he knows. 

Ren never asks outright; he instead offers to listen if Akechi 'wanted to talk'. Though more often than not Ren gives in to Akechi's teasing instead. Much faster than he'd like to admit, to be honest—but it's hard to berate himself when Akechi is so blatantly hot when frustrated. 

And his fingers are long. And his hands are deft. And—

Akechi has an amazing talent in driving Ren crazy. When he's like this, he never hesitates to do so. The brunet pins Ren down to the mattress, mouths along his neck and presses blue and black into the skin of his hips. 

Ren, chest pressed down, arms splayed and pinned, hips up in the air. Akechi, bending over him, mouth right against his ear.

Whatever filthy thing happens next happens, and it's amazing.

_ More,  _ Ren always says.  _ More, more, more.  _ Though he's never quite sure what  _ more  _ he's asking of. The friction? The speed? The roughness?

On the surface, it's always about the way they touch. How they move, or whisper things to each other. Sweet and passionate nothings interspersed between love and fucking.

Deep down, Ren knows it's not that. It's not any of those.

* * *

 

When Iwai comes by LeBlanc in the morning, a little amused that Ren had 'a robot he needed disarmed'. The first thing he asks is what  _ really  _ needed to be disabled and what it looks like, so he knows what he's dealing with. 

Ren and Futaba look at each other before replying, "the Detective Prince."

A short trip, vague explanation and a print out later, Iwai is squatted next to the still deactivated cognition, squinting at the robot then at the paper. The man looks repeatedly between the two before going back downstairs with Ren to report to Sojiro and the rest of the Phantom Thieves.

"I can  _ try _ ," he says.

"You don't know where he'd have any of his weapons stashed?"

Iwai gives Ren a look before pointing at the print out. "I didn't think you were serious about it being a robot! And you've bought my stuff. You don't recognize these names?"

Ren hasn't even seen the print out. He didn't really think to look. It probably shows.

"I'll put this in layman's terms: he's loaded. So loaded, I can't even begin to guess where he stores anything. If it's built  _ in  _ then the standard rifles would be in the arms, and the grenade launcher is most likely in his back. But he also has a machine gun, followed by revolvers, which if anything probably share his arms with the rifles, but I don't know. Any of those could be in his  _ legs  _ too."

As Iwai goes on, Ren, the Thieves and Sojiro all visibly pale. By the end of it, Sojiro is near hysterical.

"You're telling me  _ that's  _ in my house  _ right now? _ "

Iwai's stare is unwavering. "Yes."

"O-okay," Makoto begins. "Maybe that just means he  _ can  _ equip those. Or—or it just means he can make use of cognitive version of them…?"

The Thieves give each other a look while Sojiro gives Iwai a look that tells the other man not to question it. Ren doesn't quite know what to do or what to say. They can't be sure unless they activate the cognition, but that's too risky even for Ren, the most careless of them all.

"Can you look inside?" Ann asks Iwai.

"Maybe. I don't have experience with actual robots, so I can't say I'll be able to open him up with  _ my  _ tools."

Ren pulls out his phone. "I think I know someone."

Ten minutes later, Takemi comes in, amused until she's given a summary of the situation. If she's scared, she doesn't show it, carefully hidden underneath a determined poker face. The doctor goes up the stairs with Ren and looks over the still deactivated cognition. She soon starts unbuttoning his clothes to study what she can.

This is the first Ren has seen the cognition's chest, which surprisingly, isn't covered in silicone. It's steel, with a line of tiny bolts holding it all in place.

Takemi then goes back down, disappears for another ten minutes, before coming back with a pack of surgical tools. True to his word, Ren, Morgana, Takemi and Iwai take the cognition somewhere else; an old workshop owned by a landlord Ren had to bribe.

It takes hours and Ren watches all of it even if he doesn't understand what's going on. While Ren isn't strictly needed to help with the operation, he's there just in case  _ something  _ goes wrong. And honestly, Ren doesn't have the heart to leave two defenseless people with the cognition; even if both he and Morgana also classify as defenseless in the real world.

Though Takemi and Iwai make a surprisingly good team when picking apart an android. While Iwai takes over the  _ artillery _ aspect of it, Takemi takes the more physiological aspect; metal or not, an android body was simply a more durable human body after all.

At some point, the duo declare that the actual mechanism for firing bullets is just too entwined with the skeleton; so much so that either they break him irreparably or they just empty him of bullets.

Ren immediately says to empty him instead.

And that's what happens. The next hour or so is Iwai and Takemi finding where the bullets are, taking all the magazines out and making sure he wasn't secretly hiding knives or the like. There are no knives, but there are a lot of gears, plugs, tubes, and at the very center of his chest is a glowing… thing that Morgana bristles at and Takemi decides not to touch. She covers it instead and continues helping Iwai empty him.

Once done, Iwai drops all the bullets in a huge crate he brought with him, storing it in the trunk of his car, while Takemi closes up the emptied android by painstakingly screwing in every bolt with whatever surgical tool worked.

By the time they're done and the cognition is back to looking like a sleeping Akechi, he's significantly lighter. Ren still needs Iwai to help him carry the metal body back (with Morgana conveniently splayed over the sleeping face to hide it) but compared to last night the difference is staggering.

They get into the car and they make their way back to Yongen-Jaya. Next to Ren, the cognition is seated properly, head propped against the window. It's as if he and Akechi were in a taxi together, and the overworked brunet fell asleep.

It's actually a little heart wrenching how identical they look.

* * *

 

They don't bang like rabbits every chance they get. Ren is still a gentleman and Akechi is still classy. Sometimes, they just spend time around each other.

There's a lot of playful banter—playful in many senses of the word—and lots of coffee, but there are a number of days it doesn't escalate beyond that. There's lots of small talks followed by deeper talks that never leave the both of them. Sometimes Ren helps with a case or two, sometimes Akechi helps with a math question or two.

They're close friends. Close friends with… _ very _ good benefits.

Admittedly, Ren may have unconsciously closed the gap at some point in their multiple encounters. It really doesn't matter to Ren that they hardly ever spend time outside LeBlanc together, beyond a chance greeting at the station. It doesn't matter that when they see each other they don't talk about themselves but instead engage in other topics.

It's just…their thing. They don't have to go deeper to be good friends. They don't need to talk about whatever deep seated problem they have. Ren and Akechi are  _ teenagers.  _ There was no reason to rush. They have the rest of their lives to talk about it—and honestly, Ren  _ does _ want to have Akechi around for as long as possible.

Ren is…in love. He wants to know about Akechi, but it's also okay if he doesn't. Akechi is Akechi, and Ren would love him for that no matter what.

* * *

 

They don't hear from Futaba for days. The only reason they know she's okay is because Sojiro checks up on her. He stays with her sometimes to watch her work; either because he's curious or because she's scared.

Sojiro says the moment Futaba first started up her program, the robot next to them activated and in her panic she unplugged the computer. When she tried it again, the same thing happened; except he didn't move at all. 

There were telltale signs of the machine switched on, yet nothing happened. It was like he was on sleep mode, even if he 'didn't  _ sound _ like it' and Futaba was  _ sure  _ his head moved the first time. But when hours passed and he still hadn't so much as twitched, Futaba grew a little bolder until she deliberately shut Sojiro out to concentrate.

Since getting comfortable, she needed Sojiro less and less; and so for a while the Thieves had little information to go on.

By the afternoon of the 5th day, she texts she's ready to share what she found and that 'they better strap in'. After school, the team gathers in LeBlanc and Sojiro packs up and bids goodbye. Futaba then sets down her laptop to face them. Apparently, she made a PowerPoint presentation and everything.

"Okay, so, this is going to be a bit of information overload, so hang in there all right?"

They nod and she starts.

"I think I should start with his memory bank." She nods to herself and her fists clenched. "He… definitely has memories. But none from when the barricade came up onwards."

Ren tries to not let that affect him.

"Rather, it's corrupted."

There's a series of questioning sounds that follow, seven sets of eyes looking to her in confusion. She shrugs.

"I don't know why, but that file is corrupted. I tried repairing it but the best I got was shots of Akechi against the bulkhead door, when he was…making a deal with us. After that it just stops…"

They fall silent and Ren feels more than one set of eyes on him. He feels…fine though. He doesn't feel tears behind his eyes or a sudden bout of anger. If anything he just feels…resigned.

Ren nods, like he's trying to accept all this. "You did what you could. Thank you."

Futaba looks unsure of him for a moment, but she returns the gesture anyway and goes back to the laptop screen. "Okay then… Onto the technical parts. Fair warning, this isn't complete information; the documents I decrypted so far are censored.

"As I said he's a Palace Cognitive Weapon; the first and  _ only  _ one.  _ However _ , he was based on the blueprints of a series of robots originally made back in the late 1990's by the Kirijo Group. It doesn't say what they were used for, but it does say only a handful are left and only two are active."

She checks to see if they're still with her.

"It said they require 'plumes of dusk'—no, I don't know what those are—to function, but it also doesn't say why. The plumes are placed at the center of their chest, called a Papillon Heart. It's tied to their power source."

"So it's like a vital organ?" Haru asks.

"Yeah. If you destroy it, the body shuts down immediately and can't be reactivated. But his casing is double layered; one steel and one graphene—which is nigh impossible to pierce—so if he goes against us we're pretty much doomed."

"The hell was that info dump for then?!" Ryuji shouts.

"Because it's a fragile thing out of the casing. If we're going to do maintenance—"

"Maintenance?" Makoto's eyebrows scrunch. "You… You want to keep him…?"

"In sleep mode!" The small girl tacks on. "I mean… what  _ else  _ are we going to do with him? Throw him away?"

"No! Return him to Kirijo!"

"We can't because one, whoever got those blueprints is  _ in  _ Kirijo and two, Kirijo has ties to the police force. Even if we remove his memories, we'd be suspected of  _ something." _

Makoto goes quiet for a moment, an uncertainty in her very posture. Then softly, she says: "He's so dangerous, though… Keeping him is too risky."

"But that would mean taking him  _ apart.  _ Completely."

"That's—"

"Look, if you think we should scrap him, let's do it. I could  _ definitely  _ make a PC out of him. But will you guys really be alright with that?"

Yusuke hesitates, but ultimately nods. "He looks like Akechi, but that's merely a facade. At the end of the day, he's just a machine made to emulate us. It feels cruel, but it appears he doesn't even have a personality or real agency, and so it should be…acceptable."

The harsh words weigh over them, like barbels on their conscience. Between the two, Haru looks down at her lap, worrying her lip as her hands are clenched into fists. Behind her, Ann and Ryuji look at each other, both tense and crestfallen, at a complete loss of what to do. Futaba has a grim expression, like she'd been thinking non stop along these lines the past few days.

And Ren? Ren is… struggling to keep up. It's hard to pin down why (even if deep, deep down he  _ knows why _ —). He simply just can't…process everything. He doesn't really know  _ what  _ he's feeling. He can't muster up the anger to approve trashing a humanoid object (and one that looks like—), but he can't muster the kindness to welcome some kind of fake into his life even if at most it would be comatose.

Ren doesn't have to say anything though. Morgana jumps right to it, taking the leader role.

"Let's just reformat him. He's in sleep mode now, but we don't know for how long and we don't know if he's hostile. But throwing away all that tech is wasting an opportunity; so let's just use him. If Futaba can use his body like an avatar it would help significantly in future missions."

… it makes sense. It makes sense to look at it so  _ practically,  _ yet…

"Morgana—"

"He only _ looks  _ human. He's not  _ actually  _ human. He's just a machine made to look like us.  _ Exactly  _ what Yusuke said."

"Morgana is… technically right…" Futaba says, though some part of her tone doesn't sound like it agrees. "He's code. Just a long, long series of code that can learn to emulate us. He just copies."

Haru gives them all a meaningful look. "Even if that's so, I think as people we're obligated to treat him right. I refuse to regard something like him as another toy to use and abuse…!"

Morgana's tail swishes back and forth. "You can't abuse something without feelings, Haru. He's a  _ machine _ ; he doesn't  _ feel pain _ . He's just another really useful thing that we should make use of while we have the chance."

"You know, that's kinda funny coming from you," Ryuji says. "I mean, of all of us you're—"

Ann slaps him. "Ryuji!"

"No, Ryuji, you're right." Morgana's tail sways like a metronome set to a fast beat. "It's funny isn't it; some weird, talking cat saying what can or can't be human, when  _ I'm  _ obviously not… that's what you meant, right?"

Ryuji visibly regrets talking. "Look I—"

"What does it mean to be a human, huh?" Morgana's gaze is piercing. "Is all that's needed to be human to look like one? Are you telling me if I made a robot just like the cognition, it's automatically a person? You don't honestly think that, do you?"

They fall into a tense and uneasy silence, all troubled looks as they try to break down the dilemma in front of them. There's no sound other than the humming from Futaba's laptop and the wood settling around them, all nothing compared to the noise in all their heads.

It's… a difficult topic… But Morgana's right. His solution is just the most practical.

Whatever is in Futaba's room isn't a living being; it's not something that can feel. They all  _ saw  _ it. A malicious puppet Shido was using that would blindly do anything. They have every reason to just get rid of it immediately, no questions asked.

They watched it point a gun at the real Akechi, completely fine doing Shido's bidding. Completely fine being a puppet—a  _ thing  _ to be used. It was fine being just that, so why did they have to treat it as anything more?

And on top of it all, if the cognition hadn't come along…

Suddenly, Ren can't help but cave in on himself. Akechi is either dead or has no intention of being found. They don't know where to  _ begin _ looking if he survived anyway. The likelihood of ever seeing the real Akechi again is close to none, and that's already being hopeful.

Ren is highly aware he hasn't even begun to process what happened just yesterday. But bit by bit his mind puts the pieces together.

That thing—the thing in Futaba's room… that was why Akechi died. If that  _ thing _ hadn't showed up, they could've left with Akechi. They could've healed him. That  _ thing _ was  _ why _ . 

Ren wants to believe he's angry.

Unfortunately, he can't just will emotions to life. Ren felt stuck somewhere, in some kind of emotional ditch, unable to really climb out. Some part of him still couldn't believe the door shot up, separating them; he still couldn't believe the gunshot, and the morose tone of Futaba saying his signal had disappeared.

Just like that. Gone. Ren didn't have a body to bury or memories from the one that ended up taking the real Akechi's place. It's as if the universe thought it could get away with taking the real Akechi by giving Ren a poor imitation of him.

Like it could ever match up to him. But somehow Ren isn't angry. He's just tired.

Eventually, Ren nods and takes his reins as leader. Morgana is right from a practical standpoint and Ren can't be bothered to think any longer.

"All right," he says. "Let's reformat him."

* * *

 

If Ren had to fill a notebook full of things he'd learned about Akechi, he could probably do it without trouble. Every time Akechi comes by LeBlanc, Ren learns something new  _ from _ him and  _ about _ him.

Ren can't forget the first time Akechi came to LeBlanc. It was after they saved Futaba, coincidentally. He came in purely by chance, on a recommendation from Sae—and that's when Ren found out about the circumstances of Akechi's birth.

Frankly, Ren's thankful it happened at all. Akechi is a treasure—even if he's opposed to the Phantom Thieves—and would likely arrest Ren the moment he finds out. But perhaps there's something alluring about the danger of it all. Perhaps it's the romantic thought that he could seduce the detective, up until the prince himself can't possibly incarcerate their leader. 

Romantic. Ren is hopelessly romantic.

That's why, despite his friends' warnings and blatant dislike, Ren keeps spending time with Akechi. He can't help it; like the detective finds him interesting, he also finds Akechi interesting. Addicting.

Ren probes; constantly. He tries to piece together the chimera purely for his own satisfaction. And in return he lets the chimera come close enough to examine him.

Close enough to kill him.

* * *

 

That's that, Ren thinks, as the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways for the evening. After his verdict, there's nothing left to say.

Ren had the passing thought to ask Futaba what she thought. After all, Futaba is a programmer; the programmer who looked through its head. But he decided not to and let her leave to erase everything it had. She said something about looking around a bit more to make sure she didn't erase anything important, but promised to completely empty him.

That's that. They'll figure out everything else later—like they always do.

Ren changes while Morgana looks away. Then, they prepare to go to sleep. Morgana curls up near the wall and Ren slips under the covers.

Before his head even hits the pillow, his phone begins to ring.

He answers. Morgana grumbles and lifts his head.

"The cognition is  _ gone _ !"

"Huh?"

"The cognition! He—he was active this whole time. He was listening to us at LeBlanc! He's  _ gone _ !"

Ren leaps out of bed, shoves on his shoes and starts his way down the stairs. "You have no idea where it went?"

"N-no, I—I think he jumped out the window. I can't see any traces of him anywhere! Ren, what do we—"

"Message the others, I'm on the way there!"

Without even bothering to change back or lock the cafe, Ren sprints to the Sakura residence, Morgana following right beside him. Ren can't think of any other place that cognition would go to besides Shido, and if the cognition heard them at LeBlanc…

Well, it didn't take a genius to figure out they'd be fucked.

The moment he gets there, Futaba meets him at the gates, face pale and the picture of panic. Behind her, Sojiro has a similar expression.

"Ren, he really  _ is  _ gone! I mean, it would make sense, we were gonna reformat him, but where would he even  _ go _ ?"

"Shido. There's no doubt about it. But would he even know how to—"

"Guys?"

Futaba and Ren look to Morgana. "What?"

Morgana simply raises a paw to the roof, where his eyes are glued to. On the roof, to their surprise and confusion, is the cognition.

Just sitting there, looking up.

The panic visibly ebbs away as bewilderment fades in. There's no way the cognition hadn't noticed them by now (especially from their panic) and there's no reason for it to stay there—but… there it is. Sitting, knees to its chest as it stared up at nothing. Not even a passing glance at them. In its own world.

Ren… feels something. He's not sure what it is exactly, but it compels him to go inside and follow.

"Ren?!"

He doesn't look at them, just goes inside the house to make his way up there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Kikuo's [ song of the same name ](https://youtu.be/BKKcLuEcvNI), but there aren't any lyrics so I'm not sure it'll be obvious how that song inspired this fic.


	2. A Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am back...
> 
> [[orz]](https://media1.tenor.com/images/c3224255badd37aa4fbdb756511f0e63/tenor.gif?itemid=7280930)
> 
> I apologize to the people who became interested specifically for the scope presented in the first chapter, as this turned into a vastly different story. I had an outline for what was going to happen but... Well, characters kind of do what they want I suppose. I also have a track record of... writing themes that people may not like. Just a warning, I don't want potential readers to be caught blindsided by something.
> 
> That being said, I urge you to visit the tags again. I'll update the tags as soon as I write the parts that have them (so even before I post) so be sure to check if you're avoiding something. As for the rating, it bumped up because of "Violent Murders", not sex, I'm sorry.
> 
> Regarding "Other Additional Tags to be Added", while I believe the worst are here already, I'm still not sure of the scope of this in terms of covering everything. Only what's posted and the first part of the finale are written; everything in between is still sketchy, even if I have a vague outline. You know how serialization is...
> 
> If you're still along for the ride, my sincere thanks! I'll do my best to make it a memorable one.

Prior to their secret  _ arrangement, _ Ren had gone around both ways and Akechi only ever had experience with one side of the spectrum. Suffice to say their level of experience shows, and Ren always has the time of his life watching Akechi squirm, out of his element.

It makes sense why Akechi isn't experienced. Ren is fairly sure sleeping around isn't exactly a good look for the detective—and frankly, Akechi didn't seem to have the time to seek out sexual adventures.

Well… until now, it seems.

How did they get here? Who really knows. Ren can't remember if he pinned Akechi to the table first or if Akechi pounced on Ren and took his breath away. Either way works. Ren is hardly complaining.

Ren wants to say their first time is romantic, with candles and rose petals—the works. What really happens is much dirtier. Akechi is bent over the table, pants and briefs down, and shirt off one shoulder as his arms tremble under his own weight. He's a mess, almost from head to toe. His breathing is labored, his skin flushed from his cheeks to down his neck. His voice comes out in heavy pants, small gasps, hesitant moans and unbidden whimpers. 

Behind Akechi is Ren, who nibbles the junction of Akechi's neck to shoulder, has a hand around Akechi's arousal, and has his own hardness buried deep inside warm tightness. Everything from the waist down is slick—slick with plant balm and  _ other  _ things, running down their legs, staining their clothes and dripping all over.

Akechi's inexperience shines in how he's rendered a trembling mess that hardly moves—but it's fine, because Ren is a bit of a dominant and so he enjoys the idea of using Akechi like a fucktoy. He enjoys hearing all of Akechi's sounds, enjoys how boneless and pliant the brunet becomes, enjoys how the brunet trusts him enough to relinquish control.

When they finish and clean up, Akechi seems to snap out instantly of his moaning daze and smiles politely at Ren. 

It's as if nothing happened. If Ren wasn't the one fucking Akechi senseless, he wouldn't even notice anything was out of place. Akechi just smiles, murmurs a 'thank you, Amamiya-kun' and a 'see you soon' before he disappears with a small wave.

Shrouded in darkness, it's difficult for Ren to tell how sincere those words are. Soon, Ren finds it never gets easier.

It should, but it never does.

* * *

 

It's a little harder than he expected to get on the roof, but Phantom Thieving and pull ups in his room have their benefits. It's not long before Ren manages to get to where the cognition is, right before Morgana and Futaba can catch up. They shout out to him as he steadies himself on the roof, telling him to come back, that they need to approach these things carefully.

Ren takes that to heart—sort of. He tunes them out in favor of making sure he watches the cognition like a hawk. He steps carefully, each step bringing him closer to what could be a threat. A threat that is far from neutralized. But in Ren's mind that fact is glossed over. There's just something about it in this moment that reminds Ren of…other things.

Still, it doesn't move. It simply stares up at nothing.

He doesn't sense any form of hostility from the other—which should be concerning in and of itself—but like the careless leader he is he goes closer. There isn't as much caution in his steps as there should be, even though the cognition doesn't move from its position. If it weren't for its dead eyes, turned to the sky, Ren would've thought the thing just shut down.

Then, it speaks; voice flat and hollow like Ren remembers.

"I'm surprised you came here alone. You wouldn't be able to drag me back down on your own," it says. 

It doesn't even look at him.

The  _ nerve _ .

"Are you going to  _ make _ me drag you back?"

"... No."

Only a beat passes before it becomes clear that's all the cognition has to say. Instead of asking clarifying questions like he  _ should _ , Ren looks up to see what seems to have caught the cognition's eye. Instead, Ren is met with blatantly nothing interesting; only an endless expanse of dark with scant stars and a waning moon.

"You took everything from me."

Ren looks back down at the cognition, but again—the cognition isn't even looking at him. Its eyes were firmly glued to the sky.

"… Excuse me?"

"My home. My world. The Captain. You took it all from me." A pause. "I didn't even know it was possible."

Ren takes on a more guarded stance and a few steps back. "What are you gonna do about it?" He can feel himself visibly bristling. "Are you gonna kill me? Are you gonna report to Shido and screw us all over?"

The cognition doesn't reply for a moment and in that time Ren feels himself begin to sweat bullets.

It occurs to him suddenly that they're on a  _ roof _ , and a fall from this height would fuck him over if the cognition didn't just snap his neck. If not either of those, the cognition need only slam his head against the roof tiles. He's also certain if the cognition tried, simply punching him would take him out for good. 

There are suddenly a million ways to die flashing through Ren's head. But then—

"No. None of that."

…Ren doesn't know what to think. 

For a moment, he  _ doesn't _ think; too dumbfounded and out of his element to do anything. This was  _ not  _ what he expected in any capacity. The fact the plans they painstakingly prepared are now rendered  _ pointless  _ is enough of a shock to Ren that his mind has actual trouble connecting the dots.

Was this really the cognition? Was this the puppet they all saw, taunting Akechi about being the  _ real _ puppet? The one whose face contorted into disgusted and manic expressions, seemingly taking joy in their suffering?

The cognition had such biting words yesterday. What happened?

Is it… in shock?

Ren's mind feels split—has been for a while, really—with one half screaming at him to pull it together, while the other half…

The other half focuses on its face. Its form. Everything from the way the uniform hugged its waist, the form fitting pants, the silky hair—it's uncanny and heartbreaking in equal measures. 

It's painful. So, so painful.

Ren shakes his head in an effort to will the thoughts away. He tries to get his eyes to focus somewhere else; but the universe is cruel and the thing before him is an exact copy of what torments him. There's nowhere on its form to look that isn't some degree of painful for Ren; and so he sucks it up and glares daggers at its face.

Surprisingly, that part is the least like Akechi. Devoid of emotion, even fake ones, it's easy to tell where the differences are—and somehow, that twists Ren's heart the most.

"Why didn't you? Why  _ won't  _ you?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Isn't that what  _ you  _ want?"

It stays quiet for a moment, unmoving. Its head remains turned to the sky, as if waiting for something—maybe rain. Who knew?

"'You can't abuse something without feelings'; 'he's a machine, he doesn't feel pain'... But aren't feelings and pain what would normally motivate one to seek revenge? Why would you expect a machine to act outside its directive?"

"Well, isn't your directive to protect Shido?"

The cognition finally looks at him and Ren immediately wishes it didn't. "No, I've never met Shido. I only know the Captain."

There's not much to say in reply, but there's a _whole_ _lot_ to unpack there and Ren doesn't feel like he's quite mentally prepared for that. It crosses his mind that this is something he and Akechi would talk about at length; something that Akechi would have such interesting things to say about. He would have some kind of stunning insight, all expressed in the eloquent manner he was known for. But now—

The cognition looks back up at the sky, hands curled into fists that clenched the fabric of its pants.

"I have no purpose here. Reformat me, break me into pieces, recycle me—I don't care. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I failed to do what I was…created for. I'm a useless  _ machine _ —so I should be thrown away."

Ren can't help wincing at the cognition's words, even if it was true for the most part. 

If a machine had no purpose being there, then it was better to just throw it away. It doesn't matter. A machine is built to serve in some capacity; so it makes sense that if it fails to do so, it should be thrown out. Machines are made with a specific purpose in mind; their existence revolves around a singular directive. A kind of linear existence; straightforward at its core. It didn't need to worry about anything else.

If it loses— _ fails _ —to carry out its purpose, it should be scrapped in some way. That's just how machines  _ are. _

But its words twist Ren's heart and stomach. There's something heartbreaking, watching Akechi's face, hearing Akechi's voice, say those things; saying that he should be thrown away for failing Shido.

Really, the cognition  _ should  _ be thrown away. They decided to reformat it, and it's practically giving the go ahead already. Whatever moral quandaries they had should be put to rest  _ now _ . This thing is  _ already consenting.  _

Why was it still so hard?

God. 

It wasn't fair. Why did this one survive and not—?

Ren forces himself to focus. "Why didn't you just keep playing dead, then?"

This time it looks to its shoes with a nigh unreadable look. It doesn't answer for a long time, but Ren can sense ignoring him isn't its intention. It seems to be thinking instead.

Finally, it spoke: "Before the sun set, I was expected to take guard outside the assembly hall."  A pause. "I never had a reason to leave my position."

"… You've never seen the night sky before?"

The cognition looks back up. "Never."

Ren falls quiet.

* * *

 

The times they let their hormones overtake them blur into a fog of passion and pleasure in Ren's mind. The specifics eventually get lost on him. 

It doesn't matter to Ren. 

Sure, they fuck a lot—a whole lot—but there's more to those sessions than it seems on the surface. They blur together, but to Ren, they're more pieces of the puzzle that is Akechi. 

Ren memorizes what parts Akechi loves having touched; what  _ moods  _ he'd have to be to  _ want _ them touched; and what parts to avoid if Ren still wanted to  _ touch.  _ He could fill pages upon pages of when to touch Akechi, and in what way, and in what order.

Mastering how to touch Akechi is like playing a goddamn violin. And Ren would know, he'd done violin before. He always hopes his hard work back then paid off whenever he sticks his digits into Akechi, pressing into that soft spot that has the brunet bucking against them. Ren always looks forward to playing a symphony with the most precious instrument in the world.

Akechi is a breathing work of art, living in spite of circumstances, still able to hold beauty in his own hands. It's amazing, honestly; Ren can only ever hope to live with such grace and fortitude. He's a little envious, truth be told.

It isn't a problem though. The envy shatters every time Akechi loses himself because of Ren; it shatters when dirty, lustful music spill from pale-cherry lips.

To be the reason an ephemeral being is made mortal is intoxicating for so, so many reasons. Ren can't begin to describe the feeling of having Akechi in his hands, or him in Akechi's. It's rewarding to be able to be so near an angel.

But talking to Akechi—that was rewarding too. Maybe more so.

Each time they meet, Ren never really knows what to expect; much like how Akechi feels; or says he feels, anyway. Each time they meet, Ren jumps at the opportunity and wrings out whatever new piece he can add to the milk puzzle that is Goro Akechi, while Akechi reciprocates in kind.

Sometimes Ren learns something mundane—he likes extra sugar on bad days, he likes extra bitter on sleepy days. Sometimes, it's revealing—he rarely cooks for himself, he cakes on makeup to hide the exhaustion. 

It doesn’t really matter to Ren what he learns. Even a glimpse of the otherworldly being under the skin is enough. Each time Akechi’s facade drops, Ren immediately captures the moment and adds it to his building collection of puzzle pieces, yet still unsure of the exact form they take. Ren is content like this, awaiting the day he can hold in his hands all the pieces together in a cohesive figure.

* * *

 

"Can I?"

The cognition looks at Futaba, inherently emotionless and disturbingly passive. "I don't see why you need to ask me, considering you've looked through my head for five days in a row."

"I know and I'm sorry. Now I'm asking." She holds up the cables again. "Can I?"

It stares at her for a moment, gaze completely blank. Ren can't tell what it's thinking, if it is at all. Then, the cognition lowers its head and exposes its nape. Futaba then plugs in the cords without another word and sets to work again.

Meanwhile, Ren and Morgana stay on her bed, staring at the cognition. It doesn't look back nor try to; it simply lets its head hang, effectively covering its eyes. Ren can't decide if he wants to see those deadened eyes or not. The garnet orbs the cognition has are dissimilar enough to differentiate, but… somehow, that feels precisely why Ren couldn't bare to look at it.

It's dissimilar  _ enough.  _ Meaning there  _ are  _ similarities; enough to remind Ren, but not enough to fool him. It says a lot that Ren isn't sure he  _ doesn't _ want to be fooled.

Morgana moving towards the cognition snaps Ren out of his thoughts. He watches the feline approach the edge of the bed, right across the robot, before settling down. His tail sways.

"Hey, Akechi."

Ren feels his skin crawl at that. The cognition responds by lifting its head.

"Did you know?" Morgana's paw gestures vaguely to its form. "That you were a robot, I mean. And don't think about lying—!"

"I can't lie."

Morgana makes a sound at the back of his throat, something close to annoyance. "Even a robot can lie."

"I'm programmed not to lie." Its eyes take a minutely somber quality in a way Ren can't explain. "I have a function than renders me incapable of speaking if it's not the truth. So no, I can't lie—and no, I wasn't aware."

"All right. So Shido lied to you. What do you think about that?"

"... He didn't have to." The cognition looks away. "But he did."

"Okay.” A small pause. “What about you playing dead? What was the logic behind  _ that? _ "

It falls quiet again, like back on the roof, seemingly contemplative. Then: "I…didn't like being shut down."

Futaba looks over with her brows knit and her mouth set in a guilty frown. "I'm sorry for doing that… I panicked."

"I don't see why you feel the need to apologize. I'm at your mercy."

She hesitates, opens her mouth to begin protest, but thinks better of it and goes back to parsing through the files. Ren wishes he could help her, if not to aid in sorting through the heaping mess of files (like she mentioned it having), then to get his mind off the faux.

Frankly, he can't pin down the reason behind the flipping of his stomach or his general unease. Is it  _ wrong _ to reformat something that clearly isn't hostile, just because it's  _ potentially  _ dangerous? Whatever plans they had made in anticipation were useless in the face of the cognition's submission. The danger simply isn't… there anymore. What point is there to erase it?

It snuck out to watch the night sky.

It played dead because it didn't want to be shut down.

It… seems to feel…  _ hurt. _

To something so separable from its body, was death as simple as emptying a hard drive of data? Would having that data stored away be like keeping that something in a coma? Was deleting it altogether on par with killing a person?

Is the ease of erasing and replaceability the inverse of value? Is it even  _ fair  _ to use those qualities as metrics, like it's some kind of commodity?

_ Is this right _ ?

Ren still struggles. He remembers in cruel, vivid detail those garnet eyes he'd stared into not too long ago, watching him with something akin to heartbreak. The gun pointed in his direction, with a gaze that says a million words that can never be spoken. The barricade rising from the ground, paralyzing him with a slew of thoughts before he can comprehend what was going on.  A voice, sputtering and coughing, twisting Ren's heart into threads—the gunshot. 

_ The gunshot. _

And still, he can't find the will to be angry, to be malicious enough to allow this to continue further.  Not when it was conscious and choosing not to hurt them.

It was cruel, yes—sadistic and cruel. 

But wasn't Akechi all those things too?

Ren for the life of him can't shake the feeling that  _ something  _ happened behind that barricade.  _ Something _ that let the cognition out. The ship  _ exploded  _ and yet the cognition was  _ unscathed. _ That has to mean something.

Was it possible, perhaps, that Akechi…?

Suddenly, Ren sees the cognition in a new light. 

What if? 

What if, what if, what if?

What if Akechi  _ survived _ ? What if he survived  _ through  _ the cognition?

Is that possible? Is the Metaverse so powerful as to grant the capability to transcend death? Morgana didn't even know about cognitions infused with shadows before; and prior to the first letter they didn't think such a thing was possible either. Yet it happened.

Is it really so much of a stretch that somehow, in a desperate effort to survive, Akechi forced himself into—maybe even combined with—the cognition?

Aren't Shadows and Personas two sides of the same coin?

Slowly, it all starts to snap into place. Through some unknown, metaphysical ability—maybe taking advantage of how Shido could twist cognitions into part shadows—Akechi might have fused with his own cognition. The robot was just that—a robot, but with an overlay of a filtered persona Akechi showed Shido. Is it  _ really  _ so hard to believe that there's  _ some  _ Metaverse trick to take advantage of that?

The Metaverse is, after all, a gigantic, physical metaphor. Anything could happen theoretically speaking. The Metaverse is built on cognitions, but what would happen if a Palace owner knew of the Metaverse as something inherently malleable? Something that brought things into reality on an unconscious whim?

To stare at a face identical to the self and realize, in existential horror, that  _ this is the face of death  _ is both poetic and nauseating. Chilling and numbing in equal measures. If that had happened to Ren—if in the confines of an interrogation room, a bastardized version of himself strutted in and aimed a gun at his head—Ren would be petrified. Even if he were to survive, he can't see himself going on with life as usual anymore.

So perhaps, that emotion would be enough to break the conventions of reality as dictated by a Palace ruler. Perhaps, in a last desperate attempt, not acknowledging the supposed killing gunshot, Akechi took advantage of whatever metaphysics the Metaverse has.

Behind the barricade, it's possible. And as long as it's possible—

Before the thought can even finish, Ren picks Morgana up and leaves the room. Morgana yelps, the beginnings of a litany of questions spilling from his muzzle, but Ren cuts him off when they're far enough by dropping him on the floor.

"Morgana, I've been thinking—"

"It better not be about going back on our decision."

"It feels wrong—"

"You can't be serious—"

"No, wait; hear me out."

Morgana doesn't say anything, instead fixing Ren with a stern stare and nothing else. Ren nods his thanks and takes a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. He knows that saying it aloud sounds stupid, but—well, a talking cat sounded stupid to Ren some time ago too.

"Isn't it weird that…even though the ship exploded, the cognition was virtually fine…?"

Pointed ears pin back. "And?"

"Well, an explosion is  _ physical  _ and Akechi could use Tetrakarn, so…"

Mona clearly doesn't like where this is going. "I trust Futaba, and she said his signal was gone. He was shot, Ren."

"And  _ then  _ what?" Ren asked. "The cognition just… _ hung around _ for a whole day? Mona, we found him shut down, but unscathed. An exploding ship would've  _ burned _ his silicone, but not shut him down. The memories he has from after the barricade shot up are corrupted too—"

"Ren—"

"What if Akechi’s—"

"—possessing the cognition. Is that what you were going to say?” 

When Ren doesn’t add anything else, Morgana fixes him with a sympathetic look. "Ren, I know it's hard to accept, but Akechi's gone. It’s  _ okay  _ to feel bad about it.”

That hurts Ren more than he thought it would. 

"Is it  _ really  _ so unlikely that maybe—maybe Akechi found his way into the cognition? We didn't know cognitions could house  _ shadows _ —"

"Ren, those are two different things."

"They don't  _ have  _ to be," Ren insists. "Shadows and Personas are two sides of the same coin, right? What if the same thing happened, but with—"

"If the cognition was really a cognition, maybe I'd believe you!" Morgana's expression remains sympathetic as he stares up at Ren. "But the cognition  _ isn't  _ from the Metaverse—not  _ really.  _ He's just a robot that happened to live there, and a  _ dangerous  _ one at that."

“Staying in a Palace for a year  _ straight  _ is eventually going to do something! God, why are you even so hellbent on reformatting him?!"

"I'm trying to make the best decision!" Morgana actually  _ snarls  _ at Ren. "I don't want any of you to get hurt here in the  _ real _ world, you  _ idiot _ ! He's the closest thing to me that we've seen so far; this is hard for me too! It’s a hard decision for  _ everyone _ ! You think you’re the only one who knows what it means to reformat him?!"

Ren is stunned silent. It feels as if the world slows for a moment before it speeds up again and Ren’s anger flares. Though why he’s angry is lost on him.

"Guys?"

Suddenly, Futaba’s voice breaks the red haze in Ren’s mind. She peeks out of her room, a touch unsettled. Ren immediately swallows whatever anger and whatever words he’s prepared to say. "Sorry, we'll be quieter."

"No, that's… that's not it. I think you'll want to see this."

They stared at her, silently questioning. She chews her lower lip and starts fiddling with her hands; a nervous tick she has that Ren has learned is  _ never  _ a good sign. "I found a whole new set of files and finished decryption. They were hidden even from the cognition."

"What are they?"

For a moment, she doesn’t answer. 

“I think it’s better if I show you.”

* * *

 

When Ren comes back from the cleaning himself up, he finds Akechi sitting on his bed, looking out the window. The brunet is faced away from him, knees drawn close and arms wrapped around them. Akechi keeps staring up even when Ren’s feet land on the creaky floorboards, seemingly unwilling to pull away.

It’s when Ren’s seated on the bed next to the other nude boy that he sees what had caught Akechi’s attention.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

Akechi’s eyes hold a faraway quality to them as he stares at the full moon. If Ren looks close enough, he can imagine a sea of stars held within red spheres; intermingling with the dark blue of the sky—like a galaxy contained in glass. Ren represses the urge to kiss Akechi right then and there, knowing now wasn’t the time for that.

Instead he chooses to watch Akechi like Akechi watches the moon.

“Yeah,” Ren says. “Didn’t know you were a bit of a stargazer.”

“It’s nice. Looking up at the moon, remembering how far away it is, is humbling. It makes everything else seem so much smaller; even my problems.”

Ren shifts closer. “Problems?”

“Oh, nothing important…”

Akechi’s smile is tinged with sadness; it’s haunting somehow and gives Ren the impression of something hollow. The brunet looks at him then, flawless face perfectly moonkissed in all the best ways. Ren stares back, feels himself flush a little when Akechi’s smile loses its sadness and instead becomes…fond.

Suddenly, Akechi leans forward and plants his lips on Ren’s. 

It’s the first time it’s happened outside of sex. Ren can’t help but melt, can’t help but let his heart burst—overflowing with a warm feeling he can’t quite place yet. Not when Akechi comes into Ren’s space in a way he hasn’t before.

* * *

 

“Akechi-kun, you… you know what this is for, correct?”

“I’m aware.”

“And you’re fine that I’ll be the one conducting this?”

“Well, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

The psychotherapist behind the camera stays silent for a beat too long. The tension in the room is palpable, even through the barrier of time and the surface of a monitor. “…You’re taking this extremely calmly, Akechi-kun. Why don’t we start with why this doesn’t seem to phase you?”

“I see no reason not to cooperate with Shido. I offered my abilities, but I can’t guarantee my survival at every skirmish… Having a replacement is a natural course of action. I see no reason to oppose it if I can’t ensure I’ll be alive.”

“We’ll have you on file, Akechi-kun.” A pause. “Forever.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Are you really sure about this? This is a huge invasion of privacy. After this, you’ll—”

“I’m aware.” A bright smile. “Shido-san already drilled it into me. It’s just what it means to be his right hand man. He needs Loki, after all—and well, I’m expected to do  _ anything _ for the captain.”

Ren pauses the video right there.

“This is horrible…” Morgana mutters. “How many of these are there?”

“Over a hundred.” Futaba is in her calming position, feet planted flat on the seat of her chair and knees raised up to her chin. “They’re all at least three hours each… I think they use this to train the machine-learning-plume-of-dusk hybrid that constitutes the main program. A full fledged personality, based on hundreds of hours of research on Akechi…specifically.”

Morgana’s face crumples into confusion. “But why go through the trouble of putting Cognitive Akechi in the Palace?”

“I think they had a theory about the plumes of dusk.” Futaba leans over and quickly minimizes the video and pulls up another document. The document had several redacted areas and a black and white picture of glowing shards. “I think I pieced it together from what I remember of my mom’s research.

“These plumes are somewhere between ‘mind and reality’; anything holding it can be linked to the ‘other side’; in other words, these plumes give the machine learning algorithm an unconscious. Giving the machine learning algorithm an unconscious possibly gives it the capability to learn abstractly, so if you put it in a skewed environment and…gaslight it enough, the algorithm will…”

They all fall silent. 

There’s… nothing left to say. Futaba doesn’t need to spell it out for them. 

“I suppose you’re right, Akechi-kun…”

Suddenly, the voice of the psychotherapist filters in at the same time Akechi’s polite expression becomes the center of the screen again.

“So, should I lie down before you put me under?”

They look to the cognition. 

“I suppose it depends on you.”

His head is still turned down and his hair forms a blanket that covers his face, but his hands are clenched into fists, digging into his lap.

No one really says anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I dislike you, unable to love  
> I dislike mom and dad too, I hate them  
> Everyone plays the victim, unable to love  
> We are living machines, I hate it."
> 
> ["Daisuki"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBAFaPmxdcU) feat. Daoko by Teddyloid


	3. A Copy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't look at me with those eyes  
> I tried to unheave the ties  
> Turn back the time that drew him  
> But he couldn't be saved  
> No he couldn't be saved  
> [A sadness runs through him...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQUPwJ7JsjA)"
> 
> Added tags: Bad BDSM etiquette, Grooming

"You must hate me, Amamiya-kun."

Ren shakes his head as he tightens the ropes around Akechi. He was going to use them for Phantom Thieving but… well, his hormones beg otherwise. Anyway, he supposes this was  _ sort _ of related, now that Akechi blackmailed his way in.

Ren really doesn't hate him. He  _ is  _ angry though. He's sure Akechi can tell.

"Makoto did the same thing." 

He doesn't say he was angry at her then too. Doesn't say that he was _really_ angry when she decided to see Kaneshiro herself. Doesn't say he was _completely_ _livid_ when she got them a deadline.

No, Ren doesn't say any of that.

"Do you feel guilty?" He asks instead.

Akechi laughs softly. "A little."

"Is that why we're in your fancy apartment this time?"

Another laugh. "I wouldn't call it fancy."

"So that  _ is  _ why?"

"Maybe…"

Ren pulls at the ropes binding Akechi from head to toe, tight enough to burn. The traitor's ankles are bound to each other and his shins and thighs are tied together, leaving him on his bare knees. His arms are folded behind him, forearms pressed together within coils that are connected to the rope slithering between his legs. Like this, the only possible way for him to move is to bow; everything else is restricted.

This is their first time doing bondage; especially of this intensity. Ren is a little curious; he's tried it a grand total of once and only with fuzzy handcuffs the girl had. He hasn't tried tying up a partner in complex knots, nor has he tried restraining them in every way that doesn't hinder their capacity to give a blowjob.

It's  _ also  _ their first time outside LeBlanc. That's two very notable firsts put together and Ren doesn't quite know what to do with the information.

"Why did you approach me if you thought I was going to hate you?"

Akechi smiles and does his best approximation of a shrug. "I don't know… Horny I guess." He spreads his thighs apart, lets his hair fall over one side of his face. "Are you angry enough to just leave me here?"

Ren looks down at the brunet's arousal. This was Akechi's idea, and it shows in how he's almost at full size. It's kinda funny Ren knows his full size. 

It's also kinda sad.

Ren is angry at a lot of things. First of all is of course, Akechi, for blackmailing his way into the group. Second is how dumb Ren feels for never really catching onto that stupid pancakes comment the first time.

Pancakes.  _ Pancakes. _ It's so fucking  _ asinine _ he could almost laugh; but honestly, Ren's not sure he can eat those anymore. The mere idea of the innocent, Western breakfast food is suddenly giving him anxiety. What more if he actually saw them around? How pathetic would he look, shivering like a child at a haunted house at the image of something so fucking  _ innocent _ ?

It's such a joke. 

This whole thing is a joke.

Ren has all the reason in the world to just leave Akechi sprawled like this, for days—reduce him to a filthy animal that shits and pisses next to his bed. Mock him until he starts nodding and sobbing, isolate him until he's begging for touch. 

But that's beyond cruel.

So instead, Ren shoves a ball into one of Akechi's hands. "Drop this if you can't take it."

Akechi squeezes the ball in amusement, eyes twinkling. "You must be really angry," he says as he leans forward, ready to take cock.

Ren doesn't respond; instead he grabs Akechi by the hair and guides him down. He watches glossy, pale-cherry lips, wrap around him willingly; feels the boy going down on him moan when Ren tightens the hold on his hair. 

It doesn't take long before Ren takes control—completely.

* * *

 

The Thieves meet up the next day; and as expected, most of them enter LeBlanc on edge. There's a myriad of questions, all of which Ren, Morgana and Futaba answer in turns.

_ "Why is he still conscious?" _ He's fully charged now.

_ "He hasn't tried to escape?" _ He's more interested in stargazing and being reformatted, if anything.

_ "Did you find something inside him?" _ Well, there's over three hundred hours of Akechi talking with a psychotherapist; sometimes under hypnosis.

_ "For real?! What the hell?!" _ The price of being a mercenary, it seems.

_ "What else is inside him?" _ A bunch of programs, named either something vague like Munin and Genesis or something direct like Obedience Parameters and Automated Persona Program.

_ "Automated Persona Program? He has a Persona?" _ It's possible.

_ "... Is it Akechi's persona?"  _

… it's possible.

By the end of their meeting, they stop shooting the cognition shifty looks as his docile nature becomes apparent; mainly in how he hides himself by the stairs and the fact that he's spent the night hurting no one. He either stares into space or at the sky; perhaps thinking, perhaps watching one of the many, many videos of Akechi.

Videos that, during one of Morgana's solo walks, Ren asked for and put in a hard drive. Just for safekeeping.

Their meeting is formality at best. It's obvious now that there's more to the cognition than they thought, so Ren decides to completely forget their initial plan. Futaba agrees instantly and wholeheartedly while Morgana hesitantly concedes, tail once again a metronome. The rest of the team go along with it too.

But with deciding to keep him around, a new dilemma arises: what to do with him?

It's obvious that he would end up being a member of their team, but they all have lives outside Phantom Thievery. What did he have? What was he going to do? Was he going to effortlessly slide himself into the real Akechi's place in society?

… Perhaps. After all, it's possible Akechi still lives on in him, in some capacity.

The exact logistics of what they're going to do with Cognitive Akechi fade into each other. For one, it seems obvious to any of them that they shouldn't leave him alone quite yet; and even if they  _ could  _ they don't know where he'd be able to  _ stay _ since Ren stupidly forgot the real Akechi's address.

Not that he'd tell them he knew at some point.

They never knew about his escapades with Akechi; except Morgana and Futaba, who let them be for the most part. At least, until Akechi blackmailed them—and even more so when they heard the plan.

With how awkward things became halfway through November, there's no way Akechi wouldn't have known something was amiss. Ren had almost completely pulled away by then, even though Akechi cooperated in their infiltration. Their conversations, if any, were stilted and broken for a number of days. Then, on the last night—

"I'll ask Sis where Akechi's apartment is."

And that's that. 

Until Cognitive Akechi can at least properly fake emotions, he'd have to stay in Yongen-Jaya.

They  _ say  _ Yongen-Jaya, but at this point they really mean LeBlanc. It's true that Cognitive Akechi is docile now, but that doesn't mean they're comfortable with him—none except Ren. Which makes sense even to the others. Ren's always been the only one comfortable with Akechi.

With that, Ren has yet another roommate. He's not like Morgana at all; in fact he's mostly quiet, sitting curled up in corners or on the couch. He ruminates endlessly, day in and day out, as he waits for the day they traverse into the Metaverse to see his full capabilities. He's so silent, Ren almost forgets he's there.

It's on the fourth day that Ren says: "You've been really quiet."

The cognition looks up at Ren from his corner of the room (and he's been in this corner so long that it  _ has  _ become  _ his  _ corner). Somewhere behind them, Ren hears the drumbeat of Morgana's tail against the couch. 

"I'm under the assumption that you  _ prefer  _ me quiet."

"That's not true."

Cognitive Akechi studies Ren for a moment; what little emotions he has are hidden almost frighteningly well. Then, the moment passes and he looks away. "... I am used to the solitude."

Maybe Ren's pushing it, but he decides it's a good idea to sit down right in front of the robot. Morgana's tail keeps beating, but the cat says nothing, so Ren takes it as a sign that it's okay to keep going.

"Is that so? Somehow, I can't imagine that."

"There's no need to imagine it. I'm normally this quiet."

"Well… you don't have to be," Ren says, smiling slightly. It's surprisingly genuine. "You can talk to me. You can start with what you've been thinking about."

Again, Cognitive Akechi falls silent; but in that way that says he's thinking of how to say it. Then, without looking, he murmurs: "It hurts."

"What does?"

His hand twitches before moving inward—only to stop again, as if he thought better of it. His hand goes back to wrap around the other, locking in his knees. "My… chest. But my sensors… don't detect anything."

Suddenly, Ren spots Morgana next to them, staring up at the cognition. Blue orbs stare right at the android. His tail had stopped swinging. "When does it hurt?" 

Cognitive Akechi pauses for a moment. "... When I think about the captain; and the Obedience Parameters."

"What about them?"

A pause. "... I can't understand… why."

"Why what?"

Another pause, this one longer and tenser. Cognitive Akechi gives almost nothing away; not in his expression, not in his posture, but his hands do clench tighter around his forearms. And suddenly, it hits Ren all at once.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

The cognition looks at him as if in surprise, blank rubies focusing on him. His fingers loosen around his forearms. He doesn’t speak for a moment, suddenly looking away. Ren cuts in to clarify: "Do you… not want to talk about it? Do your Obedience Parameters include having to answer questions truthfully…?"

"Yes, they function like that." The cognition physically unravels a little. "And no, I don't want to talk about it."

Ren nods. “I’ll keep that in mind. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to, okay? You can just tell me if you don’t want to.”

Morgana looks shocked stiff, but doesn’t say anything. Ren doesn’t say anything about it either; he knows Morgana only has their best interests in mind. But even those with good intentions can end up hurting others. Cognitive Akechi deserved at least the ability to not _have to_ _answer_ something, right?

And seeing Cognitive Akechi’s reaction—the way his eyes widen by a fraction, the way he straightens from his slouch—it becomes obvious to Ren that he hasn’t had many… liberties under Shido.

To no one’s surprise, really.

“Listen, Akechi…”

Ren falters for a moment, but Cognitive Akechi actually looks at him with some level of emotion that pushes him to keep going.

“Shido is… he’s not a good person. He didn’t treat you well. And you deserved better. Everyone deserves more than what you dealt with."

Whatever emotion there is in the android’s eyes becomes a little more intense as he keeps watch of Ren. If Ren were to put a name to the feeling in those glass eyes, it would have to be shock—bewilderment. Maybe even…fragility.

It… does things. It affects Ren in a deep, pervasive way. Slowly, he releases a breath.

“Hey, stand up and take off your coat.”

Morgana’s frame tenses up entirely as Cognitive Akechi wordlessly follows. Ren is only a little distracted when his arms slide out of the coat sleeves. His arms are the color of familiar pale skin, starting right at the hem of his shirt sleeves and disappearing beneath black elbow length gloves. Gloves that Ren knows hides machine gun barrels and are cut at the tips so his fingers can still function as muzzles. As his coat parts from his frame, the rotating discs that make his joints become apparent where his button down ends; and it  _ also _ becomes apparent that the cognition isn't exactly wearing pants; he’s instead wearing long, thick stockings over sculpted metal, clipped at the top.

Ren doesn't know what to do with this information.

With sheer will power, he tears his eyes away and focuses on looking for clothes in one of the boxes he had. 

“Ren?”

“What?”

“What are you going to do?”

Ren shrugs nonchalantly as he pulls a box from under the bed, barely even looking in Morgana's direction. “Probably go to Iwai for a bit, maybe swing by Takemi’s on the way back. Why?”

“Okay, but…” Morgana shifts his glance to Cognitive Akechi, who is now placing his neatly folded coat on the sofa.

“Yeah, he’s coming with.”

The cat falls silent, forehead scrunched in worry like he had eyebrows to express with. Ren can only give him a look that hopefully communicates all the assurance Morgana needs. It seems to work, as Morgana heaves a sigh and drops his head in defeat. Ren can only smile in gratitude before turning back to the box and pulling out a red hoodie and a face mask.

“Oh, Ren…” Morgana murmurs, but Ren doesn’t pay it much mind as he straightens and hands it to Cognitive Akechi.

Cognitive Akechi's head tilts in question.

“These should fit you.”

The robot looks at Ren for a moment before taking the hoodie and pulling it on. Though the red and gold are…eye catching, amidst the bustle of Shibuya, it isn't too uncommon; certainly not remarkable enough to stand out. Cognitive Akechi fusses a little over the sweater, bringing the hem past the beginnings of his stockings to make it look like he wore leggings instead.

There's a beat of silence before Ren, dumbly, says: "won't they slip down?"

Another beat of silence. 

Cognitive Akechi stares.

"No." Yet another, painfully awkward beat. "They're held up by clips."

… Right. 

Ren offers up the black face mask, but Cognitive Akechi doesn't take it. "I have no ears."

"What?"

Cognitive Akechi turns his head and pushes his hair out of the way, revealing what Ren can only describe as a pair of headphones, but with the band circling around his nape, above the ports. Without much thought, Ren steps closer to him—

The robot shuffles back.

Ren immediately raises his hands, like trying to placate a cornered animal. His voice comes out steady and quiet. "I'm not going to hurt you, Akechi. I promise. I don't think I can, frankly."

There's more emotion that flit through those rubies, but Ren can't place them as the android looks away. "Why?"

"You're…made of steel, among other things—"

His eyes snap up to meet Ren's in a familiar glare. His eyebrows are drawn together in annoyance and impatience. His frown is deep, chiseled into his expression, but his glass eyes shine with a depth of emotion Ren can barely grasp. It feels like raw anger, tinged with notes of melancholy and vulnerability.

"I mean why  _ won't  _ you?" He  _ demands _ . "I'm already  _ yours _ ."

" _ O—kay! _ " 

Morgana cuts in before Ren can even open his mouth. The feline foregoes asking Ren's permission to use his shoulder as a cat stand. "Rule number one, don't talk like that!"

Cognitive Akechi's glare lowers. The fire in his gaze burns a little less, giving in to something colder.

"And by 'like that', I mean anything that insinuates any one of the Phantom Thieves as 'owning' you or treating you like a toy. Understood?"

"... No."

Morgana's tail thumps against Ren's back.

"I  _ don't _ understand. All of you are beyond comprehension." He looks back up again, right at Ren. " _ You  _ especially."

Ren is…taken aback; and so is Morgana, judging from the silence. Cognitive Akechi takes this opportunity to keep going as emotions he'd been suppressing bubble up to the surface, silicone lips stretched as his teeth are bared.

"Why won't you reformat me? We're  _ enemies.  _ You have no reason to trust me. I'm just a  _ machine _ —"

"Stop that," Ren says—and Cognitive Akechi actually stops, quickly falling into silence. "We were wrong about you; very wrong. Weren't we, Morgana?"

Morgana has his ears pinned against the back of his head, but he nods. Cognitive Akechi does his best to maintain a glare, but it gives way to the vulnerability Ren saw.

"There's much more to you than Shido made you believe. The 'you' right now isn't  _ just  _ a machine. Reformatting would erase that version of you—forever. That's just like killing, and the Phantom Thieves don't kill."

The android's glare reduces to barely a simmer. "We're still enemies."

"I would agree with you if you tried to kill me, but you haven't."

"... I could be planning to murder you."

"Are you?"

He falters, almost visibly shrinks—and Ren  _ does  _ have to wonder what exactly declawed Cognitive Akechi; what filed his sharp teeth into nubs? What stripped him of confidence? And though Ren wanted to know, he said he was uncomfortable; and Ren is determined to at least grant him that.

"... I'm not."

"Then we have no reason to go against each other. Now," once again, Ren shows his hands, displaying only the black face mask. "Can I see your headphones?"

Morgana jumps off as Ren goes closer, watching them both like a hawk. Cognitive Akechi doesn't move an inch, except to push his hair away for Ren.

Ren goes about finding at least a kind of clip or small protrusion that could hold up a face mask, but doesn't find either. He  _ does  _ find that the headphones are actually exhaust fans; a weak point, it seems, which explains the hesitance. Though more interesting to Ren is that the outer rim is screwed in; and so, he goes about unscrewing it a little and slipping in the garter of the face mask.

As he does this, Cognitive Akechi is completely still, hands in fists at the sides. Ren can also feel Morgana's eyes lingering on his back, boring into him. The weight of it is enough that Ren hurries and finishes fastening it. Then he moves to the other side—

—and he realizes they're really close. 

Really, really close. 

Ren stares into bright red spheres for maybe a beat too long.

The android stares back. 

He pulls himself out of the trance before Morgana notices (or comments) and he quickly sets about fastening the other side. When he finishes he almost rips away, trying to shake the foreign, tingling sensation at the tips of his fingers.

"There," Ren says.

Cognitive Akechi doesn't reply, he simply touches the face mask, pensive.

The tingling at his fingertips don't leave.

* * *

 

Having Cognitive Akechi is a godsend.

"You okay?"

Cognitive Akechi adjusts the hold he has on the large sports bag Ren brought along, careful not to jostle the model guns inside. He talks audibly enough that even as they walk away from Iwai's shop, Ren and Morgana hear him just fine through the face mask and still not garner attention.

"I'm capable of carrying up to fifty metric tons."

"Whoa," Morgana murmurs. Ren nods in agreement. "So if we stacked cars on you—"

"I'll be able to carry three or four them."

"It won't break you?"

"No."

"What about a truck? The ones with sixteen wheels?"

"I can perhaps partially lift it."

Morgana sounds excited. "So how heavy does something have to be before it breaks you?"

Cognitive Akechi is taking it in stride. "To break my joints, over my carrying capacity. To break the casing, you will need over one hundred thirty point sixty five gigapascals to break me open."

"One hundred thirty what?"

"A skyscraper can fall on me and I will sustain little damage."

Morgana is incredibly enthused and visibly in awe, but the implications badger Ren a little. Just what kind of threat was Shido expecting that he made such a durable robot?

It also speaks volumes that Shido  _ obviously  _ expected insane battle conditions and dangers, yet still had a teenager for an assassin. The things Akechi must have gone through alone… Ren can't help but ache at the thought of all the times he could've _ saved  _ Akechi if only  _ Akechi just told him _ —

"You know, for someone that said he only just found out he was a robot, you sure know a lot about yourself as one. You even managed to answer all of Iwai's questions, and it didn't sound like you were making it up…"

Cognitive Akechi doesn't reply, instead looking somewhere on the ground. He stays silent, clearly taking advantage of the fact that Morgana didn't ask a question. He was uncomfortable again; Ren could tell.

Perhaps this is what rendered the robot so docile. From thinking he was human to coming to the realization that he's nothing more than a robot clone. And what was it he said?  _ You took everything from me… I didn't even think that was possible. _

He didn't think he'd survive the collapse of the Palace. He probably thought he was an accurate portrayal of Akechi, that he wasn't just programmed that way… 

Was that why?

… Did he think of himself as a prisoner?

Ren didn't want to linger on it too much; Cognitive Akechi would tell him in time. For now, he just had to focus on preparing everyone for their Mementos trip.

"Hey, Akechi."

Dull, garnet eyes peek up from beneath a red hood.

"Do you have any weak points?"

Cognitive Akechi doesn't react except for a newfound stiffness as they pass  _ Hachiko's _ statue. He looks down and takes a moment before saying: "My exhaust fans, the ones you touched earlier, are hardly protected."

"And your Papillon Heart?"

"It's the most fragile part, and so it's the most protected. The only exposed parts are my exhaust fans, due to necessity."

He shifts the bag again, astonishingly careful. His eyes don't meet Ren's; a sign of discomfort, it seems. Ren feels pity swell up in his heart. 

"Hey, I'm asking so that when we go into Mementos, we know what to watch out for." Ren gives the android a stunning smile. "We have your back, okay?"

The android stares with surprise coloring his eyes; whatever expression he has is mostly hidden by a face mask. Ren has the urge to pull it off—just to see—but the leader suppresses the impulse. Ren simply turns away as they go down the station stairs.

It's when they find seats in the train that Cognitive Akechi murmurs; "I've never had people to look out for me before."

Ren's heart aches. His voice is so full of sadness; he'd been alone for so, so long (for  _ years). _ Working for Shido alone must have been hard for him.

"Hey, it's all right. You're with us now."

Morgana peeks out a fraction to whisper. "We're gonna work together when we get in Mementos. You have our word that we'll treat you like a Phantom Thief too, so you have nothing to worry about."

Cognitive Akechi stares for a moment, seemingly in awe, before his eyes narrow. It takes Ren an embarrassingly long moment to realize they're crinkled in joy. The happiness is much fainter than usual, but it's  _ there  _ and Ren has to suppress the urge to lift the face mask to see his smile.

Just once (more), Ren wants to see his smile.

* * *

 

> [Makoto]: Sis says she wants to see Cognitive Akechi.
> 
> [Makoto]: After work.
> 
> [Makoto]: … She knows. About the engine room.

* * *

 

Android Akechi had already met the other Thieves on a more formal basis, getting their names one by one. He also seems to have a grasp on social norms despite having essentially been raised in a controlled environment, far from society. And now that he and Morgana have taken to not asking him questions, Android Akechi is…much more comfortable now; even a little expressive. They’re not quite like the expressions he exhibited back then, though; these are more genuine and less eerie. Where in the engine room his visage contorted into mere mimicries, these ones seem more natural.

It's obvious now that he wasn't underdeveloped emotionally, but rather he was taught to suppress it.  _ Gaslighted  _ into suppressing it. Was there a reason, or did Shido underestimate how little he really thought of Akechi?

Ren chooses not to think about it.

Instead, he focuses on the now; such as how similar Android Akechi and Akechi are becoming. The robot is, in many ways, an accurate clone of Akechi. Ren doesn't know how to feel about it, so he doesn't. He just takes it for what it is.

And anyway, Android Akechi was built to mimic the real Akechi; it's just in the robot's nature to do so, isn't it?

Ren couldn't  _ really _ help that.

It's at 5:24pm (according to Android Akechi) when the door to LeBlanc chimes and Makoto's voice floats up the stairs. They all go down as Makoto greets Sojiro, Sae behind her looking weary.

The woman catches sight of Ren and smiles slightly, a greeting at the tip of her tongue when she catches something behind Ren and she pales. She visibly forgets her words as Android Akechi looks at her with the barest hint of a question in his eyes.

Sae's visibly shaking as she takes in Android Akechi. On Morgana's earlier instruction, they removed the garish, red hoodie and the face mask, leaving Android Akechi bare except for the few pieces of clothing he had to begin with. The shirt was only a little wrinkled, though it still hugged his torso exactly like before, and still hardly covered his hip joints. The thick stockings are as neat as ever, still properly held up by the clips and stretched tight over curved, metal stilts. His forearms are also still covered with long, elbow length gloves—except he slides them off to reveal the gun barrels.

There is a tense moment of silence as Sae takes in the robot. Then, Ren notices it; the tears shining in the corner of her eyes. Next thing anyone knows, Sae is crying, a hand over her mouth as she chokes back the worst of her sobs. 

"He's really gone," she manages to say.

"I'm sorry, Sis."

"I shouldn't have…" she pauses for a long time as she lowers her head. When she speaks again, her voice is cracked. "He was just a  _ kid.  _ He was just _ fifteen  _ when I met him. Why didn't I notice?"

"It's not your fault…"

Sae shakes her as she visibly crumples. Makoto stays by her side, arms around her, as the younger of the two continues consoling the woman.

Android Akechi, meanwhile, looks to Ren for direction; not that Ren knows what to do either. And to be frank Ren finds it a little irksome that Sae’s crying about it now. He feels bad just thinking this, but he can't help but remember how nasty Sae was about Akechi when she heard what he'd done.  _ I didn't know he was so far gone _ , she had said.

Why is she taking it back now that he's  _ dead _ ?

Ren bites the inside of his cheek. He knows it's a cruel thought, but it's one that won't leave. It festers in his mind, that she had no right to stand there and cry like Akechi meant something to her. Like she didn't just see Akechi as a shockingly capable assistant.

And they should know; they saw her cognition of him; had to tie him up somewhere for their plan to work.

Ren's thoughts are silenced when he notices Android Akechi cautiously approach the woman, despite not being directed to do so. Sae flinches, takes him in again as her tears continue to spill.

"He talked a lot about you," the robot says.

"He… did?"

Android Akechi nods. His hand takes a hold of his wrist as he does. "I sifted through a number of videos on him. Many of them had him talking about you. He always looked up to you."

Sae… laughs—or tries to. She wipes away a tear. "R-really?"

"He described you as astonishingly talented, strong willed, driven… He had many words to describe you."

Suddenly, Sojiro has a hold on Ren's arm. "I think we should go leave them."

Ren bristles. "But what if—"

Sojiro gazes with a look in his eye Ren doesn't like. Something rough and calculating, like seeing right through Ren, even if there isn’t anything to see through other than  _ concern _ . "Come on."

Ren hesitantly gives in when Makoto picks Morgana up and also gives Ren a look—something more soft and empathetic this time. He follows them up the stairs, clinging to whatever else they talked about.

"I recall one time, he said you…"

* * *

 

Akechi gasps for breath, so visibly exhausted his cheek is pressed against the floor, bare ass in the air. He's still tied, ropes digging into his skin to mark him as permanently as possible in beautiful, interweaving patterns. He shivers, hand flexing, as if trying to find the cloth ball he dropped a bit ago.

Across him, Ren leans against the bed, still erect and throbbing, missing the heat of Akechi's mouth and his angel of a tongue. Ren pushes it aside and wraps a hand around the throbbing member and pumps, pace identical to the one they had earlier.

It's a poor mimicry, but it's all right. Ren comes a little later than he would have if Akechi hadn't dropped the ball.

Akechi shivers.

"You stopped."

"Did you expect me not to?"

The traitor doesn't answer, still gasping. He slowly pulls himself up, still visibly shaking even as he sits on his ankles. He's still hard but he seems too exhausted to pay it any mind. He stares somewhere else, like the space on the floor between them.

In those ruby eyes, Ren can see so many emotions flit through that he loses count. So many thoughts, all unsaid. Only one makes it through; "I didn't mean to drop the ball."

"But you did."

Akechi's teeth clench. "Do you think I can't take it?"

"Just how poorly do you think of me? I'm not that kind of person."

There's more emotion that flit through those rubies, but Ren can't place them as the traitor looks away. "Why?"

"I'm not in the habit of violating people's boundaries."

His eyes snap up to meet Ren's in a piercing glare. His eyebrows are drawn together in annoyance and impatience. His frown is deep, chiseled into his expression, but his bright eyes shine with a depth of emotion Ren can't grasp. It feels like raw anger, tinged with melancholy and guilt.

"I mean why  _ wouldn't you _ ?" He demands. "Look at me, I'm already  _ yours. _ "

Ren doesn't give Akechi the satisfaction of a reply. He simply invades Akechi's space and silences that traitorous mouth with his tongue, relishes in how Akechi automatically sinks into it. And as that happens, Ren takes Akechi in his hand and begins a rough pace. Akechi gasps into his mouth.

"I know," is all Ren says as Akechi moans into his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts so far? I'm curious to hear them! They're really important to me.


	4. A Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! [bow]
> 
> I want to explain why this took so long, so if you're not interested in that and just want to get to reading, feel free to skip ahead!
> 
> A lot of stuff happened during the semester; a lot of breakdowns and such, a lot of clutching my phone obsessively checking my emails, but mostly I started my undergraduate thesis (the cause for the breakdowns). I had to keep myself from writing like I usually did during the semester, just to catch up on everything. Then... I burned out. Massively. Now, I'm getting into the swing of things again, but as you can imagine the semester has started, and I'm still doing my thesis... and... I have to go for an internship soon... and I have to do a lot of coding this semester... hhhhhhhh
> 
> That being said, I will **not** abandon this story. This story means a lot to me, and I hope you'll stick with me through it. I'm rearranging my other projects and putting this (and A Modest Price for Revenge) as the priority because of its workload, so if you were waiting for other stuff of mine, I'm sorry.
> 
> Additionally, I've created a playlist full of songs that I listen to while writing. For this chapter, have a surprisingly relevant quote:
> 
> “Oh,  
> It's okay to say you've got a weak spot.  
> You don't always have to be on top.  
> Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not!  
> You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable  
> [You are not a robot!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkrk3lFVuQE&list=PLJijdMLDP3Z8iVzh7wkcMSx4xH_XPEr7b&index=17&t=0s)  
> You're lovable, so lovable  
> But you're just troubled...”
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> EDIT (02/10/2020): Hi. So. I know I promised that the tags weren't going to get worse... But they've gotten worse. Um, it's complicated to explain without just handing the entire point of this story which I don't want to do. This is probably the worst it's going to get, because I've ironed out the bits and I'm more... aware now. I'm sorry, it's really hard to explain without spoiling the...twist? Something like that, yeah. Anyway, exact added tags: Rape/Non-con, Medical Procedures, Rape/Non-con elements.

"You're Thieving again? I thought Shido was already taken care of?"

Ren sets his schoolbag down. "He is; we just need to stay on our toes and all. There's more people to take care of than Shido, even if they're not as threatening."

Sojiro nods stiffly. "I suppose so." A tense pause. "Heh… us adults just can't get stuff done, huh?"

"No adult I know has Metaverse powers, so it's alright." Ren takes a seat across Sojiro as the man starts cleaning up. From the corner of his eye, Ren sees Morgana survey the empty cafe and then pop out. "How's Akechi?"

Morgana looks at them. Sojiro falters for a moment before he quickly recovers as he wipes down the counter. "You mean the robot?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, I guess. Just as quiet as ever like the past few days; not doing much while you're in school." Sojiro pauses. "Physically, anyway. He's connected to the wifi here, right?"

Ren nods. "Should be."

"Probably looking up the news, then. Or whatever kids are into these days."

"Why don't you ask?"

Sojiro gives him a look; one that says it should be extremely obvious why. It isn't to Ren, so he returns the look with his own blank stare. Sojiro sighs, stalls, takes time to put the rag away and then takes a couple of cups and begins washing. Ren waits, watches Sojiro patiently. The cafe stays quiet; the floorboards creak with a heavy weight above them.

Eventually; "Maybe I'm not as used to talking to clones as you guys seem to be."

Though Ren hasn't eaten anything today, he suddenly tastes something sour and he keeps his grimace from showing. "I guess that's fair," he says instead.

Ren looks to his bag and finds Morgana's gone; probably went upstairs already to stretch his legs. He idles, soaking in the atmosphere and letting the tension that had built in his shoulders over the course of the day seep out of him. Ren can't remember anything really happening other than the usual lectures, but he'd been out of it for a while. He's capable of introspection, but he's not sure he wants to or even should. He can't afford to get into ruminating, especially not now, when they're set to enter the Metaverse today.

Ren folds his arms and rests his head; can't afford to think about anything else but the present. The floorboards above them groan and a distinct weight moves about.

"Kid."

Blearily, Ren looks up to see Sojiro's unreadable gaze, but Ren thinks he sees concern somewhere there. It warms his heart, cold as it is these days. 

"Are you… really okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just…" Sojiro glances somewhere to his right; the stairs. Ren refrains from bristling, but he feels himself take on a more defensive posture. "This  _ really  _ doesn't strike you as a strange situation? Is having a clone of someone you once knew really normal to you?"

They'd had this conversation already. Ren tries to keep himself in check; he doesn't want to have to reiterate  _ again  _ that Akechi might… 

"It's not so strange," Ren says, hands curling, jaw clenching. "Weird things happen in the Metaverse all the time."

Sojiro looks unsure. "I know, but… He's dead, isn't he?"

"He's not!" Ren snaps—then visibly regrets it when he's met with Sojiro's shocked gaze. The creaking stops. "... We don't know yet. That's part of why we're going back."

It's not a lie. Ren had been transparent with the Thieves about what he hopes to accomplish with this. Ren's holding onto hope that once they go back to the Metaverse  _ something  _ will happen; they all are. Maybe dying in the Metaverse means leaving behind memories; maybe when a Palace collapses, it returns to the same fabric of space Mementos is made out of. Maybe if they bring him to Mementos, Akechi's memories would come rushing back, like Morgana hopes his own would. 

Ren knows what he's talking about—Sojiro doesn't. They've suffered extraordinary wounds in the Metaverse before; ones that can kill. It's not impossible.

It's not. Ren  _ knows  _ it's not.

Annoyingly, Sojiro's gaze turns  _ pitying.  _ Ren opts to not linger on it; of course Sojiro would be worried. Despite the thorns the man unwittingly wields, he has a soft spot big enough for both Ren and Futaba. Still, even if his worry is from good will, he has no experience in the Metaverse; impalement in the real world would be lethal but over there it was just another wound to heal away. Maybe death is the same.

As usual, their conversation ends there. It's clear Sojiro wants to push the subject as he always has the past few days, but he doesn't, instead casting worried glances. Ren decides to ignore them for the most part.

Ren pushes it all aside. He has other things to worry about.

They didn't need much today. Besides what he'd given to the team and the supplies he already checked the night before, there wasn't anything else. They were just going to check Android Akechi's capabilities, get him to summon a Persona, and maybe… maybe—

Ren is taken out of it by Sojiro: "Kid, I'm leaving."

Ren nods. "We'll be careful, don't worry."

Sojiro stays still for a moment, searching for words.

"Ren, listen…"

Ren waits patiently.

"You can't…" Sojiro falters and sighs. "It's important to take care of yourself, you know?"

Duh. Ren knows  _ that.  _ He doesn't say it though, instead nodding and smiling slightly. "I will. Take care too, Sojiro."

The man casts another worried look before taking his leave. The bell rings as the door shuts; and right on cue, the stairs start squeaking under the weight of Android Akechi descending the steps. As of late, he'd taken to wearing the white button up and thick black stockings instead of the entire uniform. In his hands is the sports bag of items Ren had prepared the night before.

"Hey Akechi, what've you been up to?"

Android Akechi seems to take a moment to think, looking down at the ground. "I overheard what you and Sakura-san were talking about."

"Oh." Ren shifts in his seat. Of course the android did. "He's just a worrywart. Parents, you know?"

The android doesn't comment on that. He simply sets the bag of items on the table while Morgana takes a seat on one of the stools and begins licking a paw. "I've been exploring my functions, trying to delve into whatever files I have stored. Everything, from my manufacture details, to my programs, to even the videos of… him."

Ren nods. Those must be interesting. He himself can't help watching some of them, learning things. Shido's cruelty, Akechi's…

"Mostly," Android Akechi says, "I've been trying to put into words our differences."

"Differences?"

"Yes. It would seem how I experience the world is different."

Ren chuckles a little. "We all experience the world differently."

The android visibly falters, maybe looks a little confused and miffed. It's hard to tell, since his expressions are still too controlled. "I… I mean to say I think I'm different _.  _ How I process the world is  _ different  _ compared to humans—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there."

Android Akechi stops.

"You shouldn't try to find differences between us, okay?" Ren takes on a kinder tone, smiling patiently. "Even if our bodies are different we're fundamentally the same. Don't think about it too hard, Akechi. I'll be the first to say, you're one of us. Flesh or metal, it doesn't matter."

"... oh." He looks down. "I've just—"

Ren stands from his seat and takes Akechi's hands. "Don't think about it. Seriously. It doesn't matter to me."

Akechi looks at his hands in Ren's, then up at Ren, sporting garnet doe eyes. Ren lets go, suddenly remembering Akechi never really liked that and stepping away. "You're fine as you are. You don't need to stress yourself out listing all the little details. Sometimes you just need to focus on today."

"Ren's right," Morgana says. "You can think about it later. For now, we gotta focus. Even if we're going to a higher area, we still need to be alert!"

Akechi lets it sink in for a moment with a pensive expression before he nods. "I understand."

He falls silent and remains so, even as the rest of the Thieves filter in. Even as they prepare to leave. He stays quiet.

* * *

The bus ride along the path of Akzeriyyuth is tense. There's attempts at conversation here and there, but the discomfort is obvious. Joker’s not sure how else to relieve the tension other than to try to physically separate Android Akechi away from everyone else, though it’s obvious that given the recent turn of events, just sitting next to Android Akechi doesn’t exactly remove the elephant from the room. It doesn’t help either that given his weight, Mona is slower now, and they  _ all  _ feel the awkwardness of it trudging along—how it makes the Mona bus creak and slow. They can't just conveniently forget the robot's presence, even if he's seated at the back and in a corner.

If Android Akechi is perturbed by the silence, there's no indication of it. He simply stares out the window of the Mona bus, watching the corridors get more organic as they descend. Every Shadow they encounter is dealt with in record time; even when it's just him and Joker. Android Akechi doesn't bring out a Persona, no matter what. When pressed, Android Akechi explains that he never really learned how to. He knew he had the capability, but actually  _ having  _ a Persona was something he didn't think was possible.

It's certainly a surprise to Joker, given he was supposed to be Shadow Shido's last line of defense. But, still, he didn't say he  _ couldn't.  _ He just doesn't know how. And so, they carry on fighting stronger and stronger Shadows and Joker watches him attentively.

His clothes remain civilian. He left the cafe with his red hoodie, the black face mask and the sports bag of equipment that included a long serrated blade he now holds in his hands, carefully angled away from everyone else on the bus. As expected, he’s scarily proficient with it, taking down Shadow after Shadow with barely any trouble. Still, Akechi doesn’t suddenly gain his prince outfit in a flash of blue or his striped jumpsuit in a flash of red; there’s no indication he has a Persona at all and no memories were arriving to him either. 

At least… so far. Ren’s still being optimistic. It may take a while, but until they reach the absolute end, he’s not giving up hope. So, they remain in Mementos, surprising Shadows and eventually beating them with Joker barely having to use his Personas and Akechi not at all. The process drags on to the point that Skull and Panther start sleeping, Oracle has most of her attention on her laptop, and Queen begins getting restless with the idea that she's the designated driver.

At some point, Joker tells most of the team to camp out in the safe floor while Oracle, Fox and Mona stay by the escalators. Joker and Akechi explore the floor together, still within range of Oracle's perception, but with how easy dispatching Shadows is becoming, Joker finds himself leading Akechi farther and farther than agreed on. If Oracle is concerned, she doesn't voice it, trusting Joker. It certainly isn't the safest thing to do, but they've been at this for a while and truth be told, Joker's getting frustrated. He thinks maybe a Persona will come out if Akechi's put in a more life-or-death situation; but that would also be incredibly reckless. The closest thing he can do is to take them out of Oracle's zone of perception, effectively isolating them both.

They explore the rest of the floor like so, and no one really chases after them so Joker assumes it's fine. Some of the Shadows eventually start running away from them while braver ones stand their ground. 

In one of the rooms they find a treasure chest that Joker immediately goes to while Akechi ruthlessly slices down the Shadows near it. There's absolutely no fanfare, no drama, just a casual number of slices that bisect the Shadows. Akechi hardly even moves doing it, as if completely bored and barely paying much attention.

He rejoins Joker at the treasure chest, peering in with some curiosity before stepping back, as if respecting Joker's space. The treasure is nothing new or worthwhile, so Joker decides to leave it. He closes the chest with a soft sigh, just as the ringing of chains echoes down the halls.

Joker freezes and Akechi is suddenly on high alert, both looking to the opening of the room. The moment Joker sees the revolver, he orders Android Akechi down behind the raised platform, a finger to his lips. Android Akechi is the picture of confusion but nods. The air of death immediately fills the room and dread takes a hold of Joker.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

There's only one hiding place and only one exit. They'll have to fight or they'll be killed. Akechi is holding onto his blade, tight, staring at it. Joker stares at his hands. They tremble.

His mind goes into overdrive. What should he do?

The chains rattle louder.

"Akechi," Joker whispers. "Run to Oracle and the others. Tell them what's going on, then find me again."

Akechi looks aghast. The chains sound closer. "What about you?"

"I'll distract it." The revolver clicks open. "On the count of three, you  _ sprint _ out of here, do you understand?"

"Yes, but—" bullets are loaded.

"One—"

Akechi looks conflicted. His hands tighten around the sword.

"Two—"

A crackling sound rips through the air and next thing Joker knows, he's away from the platform, being lowered onto the floor from Akechi's arms. The spot they were in earlier is singed black by the lightning strike. Smoke rises from the darkened ground.

Blocking the entrance, the Reaper locks one eye on them and shakes like it's laughing. It points its gun at them.

Joker scrambles to his feet and takes out his strongest Persona, Chernobog—but staring down another barrel, Joker finds his limbs go cold. The world seems to slow and everything goes silent except for the sound of his breathing. He struggles to remember what Chernobog could do but grasps at nothing. The opening of the revolver lights up. The sound is sharp and piercing, and suddenly—

Nothing hits him. The bullet gets deflected. In front of him, Android Akechi is in a protective stance, blade angled. The Reaper's gaze looks shocked and confused. Its gun lowers a little.

The world suddenly crashes back into Joker, everything hitting him at once.

"Akechi, I told you to—!"

"But what about you?!"

"I'll be fine—!"

The Reaper doesn't wait. It launches yet another spell. They both jump to the side as the wind around them forms a slicing vortex. Before either of them fully recover, a ball of fire forms between them and explodes. It sends both of them back; Joker screams and collapses, hot pain searing through him and the world begins to spin. Once again the revolver clicks open. The Reaper takes its time loading the bullets. Joker struggles to get up despite the pain and dizziness, but it's futile. He tries to find Akechi in the swimming colors of his vision.

"Akechi," Joker yells, "just go!" 

"No!"

Akechi doesn't look at Joker. Instead he moves in front of the other, protective. His movements seem stiff, like he's struggling against something. "I'm not going to leave you!"

Joker winces. "But—"

"I was made to fight… I was made to protect… I can…!"

The Reaper pauses in reloading its gun and cocks its head to the side. Android Akechi staggers forward, murmuring over and over again the same phrases. He shudders and lowers himself as if physically restrained.

"I was made to follow… I was made… to…! I hate it… I hate it… You're right, I hate it…! I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!"

He shudders again and suddenly Joker can feel it. It's the same wave of power that came with everyone else. It starts as a feeling that quickly expands and takes physical form. It washes over both Joker and the Reaper. Suddenly, the android holds his face and screams—cobalt flames start at his feet as he slowly straightens.

"Yes… It'll be my choice this time!"

Android Akechi looks over his shoulder, golden yellow eyes framed by a red mask.

"I'll protect you, Joker!"

Metal fingers grasp the edge of the mask and rip it off in a burst of pure energy and blue fire. It engulfs Akechi starting from his torn silicone, and chains burst from him. Joker gets pushed back hard enough to fall over. The fire burns bright and blue, waves of energy pulsing along the ground in a rhythmic and threatening beat. The flames are expelled in yet another burst, and Joker's heart leaps into his throat.

The Crow Joker remembers stands before him, princely attire and all, and next to the prince is Robin Hood, poised similarly.

Joker feels something behind his eyes. "Akechi, you're…"

Robin Hood hands Akechi something; he flicks it with his wrist and a lightsaber sprouts from a golden hilt. With little warning, he surges forward. Robin Hood stays behind and casts a spell and the Reaper seems to stagger, weakened, as Akechi hits it with a flurry of slashes. He jumps back and Robin Hood casts an Almighty spell and a lightning spell in quick succession. Akechi gets ready to sprint towards the Reaper again, but this time, something else happens. He seems to glow with pure energy and Joker can hear Android Akechi's exhaust fans whirring. Suddenly, the android leaps with surprising strength and speed, cracking even the floor and slicing through the Reaper numerous times, almost like he was back in the engine room.

Somehow the Reaper recovers during the onslaught and shoots Akechi point blank. The bullet ricochets off him but the force knocks him back and sends him to the ground. He still lands on his feet, despite the shot. He quickly points with all ten of his fingers—then freezes. The sound of an empty gun clicking echoes.

Before the Reaper takes the opportunity, Robin Hood jumps in front of Akechi. The Persona's chest opens up and gatling guns come forward. Without mercy, Robin Hood unloads as many bullets as physically possible onto the Reaper, steady. The Reaper guards against it, too slow to move out of the way, and it's soon pinned down by it. The onslaught of bullets don't let up, lasting long enough that they tear through the Reaper's arms. The Reaper roars, infuriated, but can hardly do anything under the flurry.

Akechi takes a moment as it happens to stare at his hands, still frozen somewhat. Then he gathers himself and, taking his lightsaber again, uses Robin Hood to jump to the Reaper. 

The hail of bullets stop as Akechi drives the lightsaber right through its eye with a satisfying  _ squelch  _ and roar of pain from the Reaper. Black ooze starts dripping down and forms a puddle below them. The Reaper's arms fall to its side and the revolvers clatter to the ground. Akechi drives the saber in deeper with both his hands, as far down as he can help it, then slices through its head.

Black blood bursts from the opening, staining the Reaper's mask and sticking to the lightsaber as it burns on the heated blade. The Reaper finally dissolves into nothing and Akechi lands gracefully on his feet. Steam begins to rise out of his exhaust fans.

The dread that filled the room empties immediately and Joker can begin to breathe easier. He finally gets up, strength returning albeit slowly and the world stabilizes around him. Joker finds himself laughing, the weight of everything finally falling off his shoulders. He staggers to Akechi, who stands staring at white gloved hands.

"Akechi!"

Akechi startles and looks at Joker. "Oh, are you all right? I—"

Before either of them know it, Joker has his arms around Akechi, hugging tightly. The other is warm in his hold and the relief and joy pour out of Joker unabashedly. He barely realizes that Akechi might not be okay with the gesture but he feels arms around him too, tight around his waist. Akechi doesn't say anything and instead seems to relax, laying his head on Joker's shoulder.

They stay like that for a while, only pulling away when they hear the Mona bus speeding down the rails.

* * *

The bus ride back to the top of Mementos is less quiet. 

"I can't believe you did that!" Queen says, slamming on the gas pedal, sending the bus careening through the tunnels and swerving around corners as Mona yelps. "You could've been killed, Joker! What the hell!"

Joker gives a sheepish laugh. "At least we  _ weren't _ killed?"

Queen slams on the breaks (Mona yelps again) just to give Joker a death glare. It's strengthened by pretty much everyone else in the Mona bus; and Joker has a feeling even Mona has his headlight-eyes in a death glare too. Seated at the back, he's at the mercy of everyone's silent wrath; Joker shrinks against the backrest, chuckling nervously. 

"Well, some good came out of it?"

"That isn't the point, dude!" Skull yells as the bus lurches forward into speeding. "Damn it, we're your friends, we're going to be worried about you when you pull off shit like this!"

"You were supposed to stay within  _ my range _ !" Oracle added furiously. "You  _ know _ we can't stay on a floor too long and I can't go  _ looking  _ for you or we'll  _ both  _ get lost! I had a  _ panic attack, you ass _ !"

Joker raises his hands, submitting to their fury. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got too cocky."

"You're  _ always _ too cocky!" Panther gives an annoyed huff. She's supported in how everyone else audibly agrees and continues pinning him down with harsh looks.

"Joker," Mona adds, seriously. His voice echoes through the ascending tunnel. "We're a  _ team.  _ I know you have that multiple-Persona ability, but that doesn't mean you can handle every fight by yourself."

"I didn't though! Akechi was with me."

Akechi, having been silent and staring at seemingly nothing, visibly startles and looks up. Everyone else, as if suddenly remembering him, all look to the android as well, like they expect him to say something. He doesn't; funnily enough, Akechi doesn't seem to like the attention and shrinks in his seat. 

"We were really worried about you," Noir says with a deeply set frown that's usually uncharacteristic of her. "You really could have died. What then?"

Fox nods. "Imagine what we would have to tell Boss. Or your parents."

Joker crosses his arms defensively. "My parents wouldn't care."

"That's not the point."

He sighs heavily, like a child really. He makes himself smaller. "I know, I know. I'm really sorry… I won't do it again."

The looks they all give him are sympathetic and forgiving, but no less worried or hurt; they were supposed to be a team and Joker went off chasing something that could've gotten them killed, after all. Of course they'd be hurt. The bus lapses into silence, tense but not necessarily hostile. It's a kind of silence that happens when everyone involved wants to move on but can't find how else to proceed. Then, there's a murmur; absolutely melancholic. Joker looks to Akechi, who's seated with his back straight and head tilted down, staring at his hands. "Did you say something?"

"I'm sorry," Akechi says, louder. "I didn't push myself to summon a Persona until things were dire. If I had—"

"Man, stop that!" Skull's frown is deep and his eyebrows are tilted in worry. He scratches the back of his head. "It's not like, your fault or anything. It's Joker's fault for being an effin' dumbass."

From the front, Queen seconds it without taking her eyes off the train tracks. "You're not responsible for Joker, Akechi. If anything, we should thank you for keeping him safe from his idiocy."

"I don't think he's an idiot…" Akechi mutters, but no one really catches it except Joker. Joker hides his smile behind a cough.

"Oh! Congratulations, by the way!" Panther, who sits right in front of him, gives a grin. "You have a Persona now! You can help us fight! Er, not that you haven't before, but you can do more than just use your sword now!"

Akechi doesn't really react to that, remaining stiff. His hands tighten around both hilts of his serrated blade and the withdrawn lightsaber. He nods once with a faint hum, but that's it. It's tense again. The other Thieves shift in their seat. He isn't as enthusiastic about it as they thought he would be; which is unexpected, but not particularly strange given the circumstances. Panther shoots a look of uncertainty at Joker. Joker shrugs.

Panther laughs nervously. "W-well, we should think of a codename for you; to use in the Metaverse. Do you have any in mind?"

Akechi looks mildly surprised. "Me?" When Panther nods, he gets a slightly embarrassed expression. It's honestly cute, Joker has to admit; the thoughtful pout on his lips as he thinks is something Joker misses terribly. "What about Munin?" The brunet asks, looking to the rest of the team. Panther looks a little uncomfortable.

"U-uh… That's…"

Skull scratches his head. "That's a little hard to remember, dude. Sorry."

He nods stiffly. "I see."

"Hm…" Noir stared deeply at him, thoughtful. "Something more related to your outfit would be better, I think. Um, imagine… if we get heavily injured in battle and need to get your attention immediately, we should be able to recall your codename easily."

"Would… 'Akechi' not suffice, in that case?"

Fox shakes his head. "It mustn't be your real name. Saying your real name in a Palace might make you a suspect in the real world, so as much as possible we use codenames."

Akechi looks confused once more. "A 'codename' is something of a placeholder, correct? Is… 'Goro Akechi' not sufficient as such?"

The bus goes quiet once more, more awkward in comparison to the tension a while ago. After all, Akechi—the android—wasn't really wrong; in a way, 'Goro Akechi' was more like a codename to him wasn't it? As far as he knew, he was a blank slate that functioned as a stand in for something if Shido's.

He… isn't wrong, right?

… No. 

No, it isn't the same, Joker decides.

He is, to some extent, Akechi himself; an extension of Akechi that summoned  _ Akechi's Persona.  _ That has to mean something, right? It still has to  _ mean  _ something even if the Persona was... slightly different. His Persona now is still Robin Hood. It's  _ still  _ Robin Hood. 

Since a person is both mind and body, it makes sense to Joker that changing the body would also mean changing the Persona somewhat, like Robin Hood had. Hell, even personal growth and change in mindsets are enough for the others to change their Personas  _ completely. _ Robin Hood being his Persona now must mean something, right? Robin Hood having a changed visage only means that he's grown in some way, right? So—so 'Goro Akechi' was— _ is— _

"You're wrong," Joker says.

Akechi maintains his confusion. "Huh?"

"Your real name  _ is  _ Goro Akechi."

The android still looks lost and Joker, overwhelmed by  _ something,  _ takes Akechi's hand and looks him straight in the eyes in earnest. "Even if you lived as Shido's cognition, you're still some aspect of him. You're  _ still  _ 'Goro Akechi'. You're not any less valid, you're not some fake; you're just as real, even if you don't feel like it right now."

No one really speaks or moves. The bus slows to a stop and Joker can feel eyes on him but he doesn't care. He squeezes Akechi's metallic hand, hoping his warmth and sincerity reaches the other. It dawns on Joker that this was Akechi had been thinking about, all this time. This had been tearing at Akechi—because of course it would—and Joker finally...

Akechi has a more vulnerable and torn look, his lips in a pouty, thoughtful frown Joker wanted to kiss away. The android looks down at their hands, intertwined. "You loved him," he says softly.

"I love  _ you,  _ Akechi _. _ "

Again, Akechi looks surprised—a mix of emotions really, all front and center, absolutely vulnerable. Something soft, something hopeful—but lost and afraid. Joker hates that he looks hesitant; but it makes sense. It must be overwhelming, so to soothe it, Joker smiles reassuringly.

It takes a moment, but eventually—Akechi smiles back and charms Joker's heart.

A hand finds his shoulder and Joker startles.

"Hey."

He looks to Skull, who is right in front of him, expression completely serious. Behind the blond is everyone else with varying degrees of expectant expressions; the only exception is Oracle, who pretends she doesn't know what's going on, and Mona, who is a bus.

"You got a lot of explaining to do, buddy."

A nervous laugh.

* * *

"Quicker," Akechi says as he looks over his shoulder at Joker. "Faster, faster—"

Joker wraps a firm hand around Akechi's cock and pumps hard as he continues to thrust in. It cuts Akechi off and he moans into his hand, quiet enough to not reverberate down the dark halls but loud enough that Joker hears it. With a possessive grip, Joker presses Akechi's hips closer to him, pounding harder.

That gets Akechi to moan louder and Joker actually feels his weight a little more. His knees tremble and his gasps for breath are more obvious.

"J-Joker—Ren—"

That ignites something in Ren and he quickly pulls out of Akechi and flips the other boy around, quickly ripping the mask off and crashing their lips together. Akechi moans into it, melts against him as Ren takes a hold of one of Akechi's legs and hoists it over his shoulder. The boy is practically bent in half, but it doesn't seem to bother Akechi.

Ren laughs against his lips as he aligns themselves once more. "You're awfully flexible, aren't you?"

"Y-you… force me to be," Akechi says with a smirk. His smug expression falls away as Ren thrusts in again, morphing into bliss as his mouth hangs open in a silent moan. His gloved hands find Ren's shoulders for some kind of stability.

"I love that look on you."

Akechi doesn't say anything, out of it, and instead chases the feeling of Ren's dick. Ren pumps Akechi as he thrusts, enjoying Akechi breaking apart, writhing against the gray walls, the low light complementing his garish prince outfit, debauched as he is. Finally, Akechi reaches a tipping point and a moan escapes him as he spills onto Ren's gloved hand. Ren keeps thrusting in until he also comes.

They pull apart after that and catch their breaths. Akechi ignores the cum dripping down his thighs and steps into his white pants once more. Ren grabs a water bottle from his pockets and pours it all over his glove, hoping the cum will come off (it sort of does).

"We haven't done that in a while," Akechi says with a casual tone. "I hope you'll forgive me if I'm a little less efficient in battle, Joker."

His words are formal, but there's a flirtatious, upward tilt of his lips that recontextualizes everything. Joker smirks as he zips himself back up. "Would it be because you're tired, or because it's distracting having my cum drip down your legs?"

Akechi smirks again and quickly gets in Ren's personal space. Against Ren's ear, he whispers: "I like your cum dripping down my legs."

He pulls away with a melodious laugh at Joker's embarrassed expression, picks up his mask and wears it properly. He faces away from Joker as he fixes his hair, combing through it with his fingers. The tension from before comes back, and Joker doesn't know what to do about it—it'd been tense between them for a while now. It just took a more sexual turn when he had to bend over and—

"I have a question, Joker," he says.

"What is it?"

He doesn't turn around.

"Why haven't we done anything in a while?"

It's tense. It's awkward. They know he's working with someone, but they don't know who and don't know why just yet. He's planning something and it still gives Joker nausea. They don't know the nature of what he's planning to do, or why he picked Sae, or anything about his intentions, really. The feeling that he was tangled in something bigger and so much more life threatening is—

"Busy, I guess," Joker says. Then, to shift the focus: "And you blackmailed us. Did you think I'd be okay with that?"

"I let you tie me up."

"That's not enough. Did you really think it was?"

He's silent for a while, simply combing through his hair until it looks reasonably messy and not completely debauched. Finally, he turns around, expression made a little more unreadable with his mask on. "A little bit." He pauses and looks away. "It hurts, I guess."

" _ You're  _ hurt?"

A laugh. His red eyes glitter purple in the blue light. "I'm selfish, Joker."

"I can tell."

He gives another chuckle, less cheerful in sound but his expression has no cracks. Then, he steps again into Joker's space, chest to chest, and he once again whispers in his ear: "Would you believe me if I said I love you?"

Joker freezes over as he pulls away. "Excuse me?"

He grins and begins walking away. "Let's go, leader. They'll start to wonder what we're doing."

"Wait—! Come back!"

He does neither of those things. He doesn't even give Joker a clue. He simply never brings it up again, and so neither does Joker, incapable of finding any sort of right time to ask if he means it or to say it back, earnestly.

* * *

There isn't as much retaliation as Joker thought there would be. In fact, there hardly seems to be any intention to do so; not even from Noir or Oracle. They seem the most disapproving but otherwise don't make comments on anything. Panther and Skull ask the most questions, but they're generic ones; 'how long?' 'how often?' 'how many times?'

Looking back on it now, their relationship was nothing short of passionate, yet somehow transient. They connected with each other on so many levels, repeatedly; absolutely magnetic in spite of the taboo—maybe  _ because  _ of the taboo—and yet it seemed to fizzle out so fast. What were they? Joker isn't quite sure if there's a proper word for what they were. It was real and it was transient; those two weren't mutually exclusive. In many ways, Joker feels like they were soul mates, briefly touching but immediately electrified and drawn to each other.

Joker loved Akechi— _ loves  _ Akechi. There's no doubt about that. And Akechi loved him too, in his own way. Joker's sure of that, despite everything.

There isn't much to explain that isn't just Joker recounting every dirty thing they did, every conversation they had over coffee and every flirtatious greeting by the train. He just says it as it is; he met Akechi, he fell in love with his wit and his shitty jokes and the way he looked when—

Joker doesn't say the risque parts, but he does heavily imply it with a sheepish tone. Mona, Noir and Oracle continue to not make much of a comment. Queen is surprisingly respectful about it, all things considered. Skull gives him the most scandalized look of all of them and Fox the most intrigued. Akechi, who had never let go of his hand (and so Joker never let go either), stares thoughtfully at their intertwined fingers. Joker fondly tightens his hold.

By the time they reach the top of Mementos again, Joker has nothing else to say and the team has nothing else to ask—or simply ran out of ways to phrase the question 'why him?'

It's a valid question; something Joker asks sometimes too—and he tells them the answer he comes up with every time he wonders himself: "I don't know, it just happened, the heart wants what it wants I suppose—and mine wanted Akechi."

Human emotions are fickle and incomprehensible, even his own. Joker finds he doesn't quite like unpacking them, content to just go with the flow.

They soon exit Mementos and gather around  _ Hachiko's  _ statue as they iron out their next Phantom Thieves related thing; with vague wording and hushed tones, of course. Now that Akechi is a part of the team again and with a new Persona (so to speak), it makes sense to try and get a feel for working with him again in Mementos, what with an upgraded Robin Hood.

Ren sets up a reminder in their chat as well as mark off his calendar. Since they didn't exert themselves at all, they could go at the earliest convenience; which happened to be in two days. Fair, Ren thinks. Based on their previous missions, it's still too early before Shido is likely to confess; and Ren is  _ dying  _ to see that one.

"Two days." Futaba nods. "That's more than enough time to figure out Akechi's maintenance."

"Huh?"

Futaba gives Ren a look. "He's been stuck in your dusty attic for a week, Ren,  _ and _ he awakened to a Persona; he's probably got oil gunking up his joints." She points to him. "He's not even moving as fluidly as before. He's probably cooled off on the bus ride back and the oil gelled up."

"That happens?"

Futaba sighs. "Yes, Ren. I think to be safe, we need to do maintenance on him after every mission. I don't really know what his schedule is."

"It's every week," Akechi says.

"Oh." Futaba pauses, clearly surprised. "Then I guess he's overdue. It's a good thing he didn't break down with the Reaper. Come on, Akechi."

"You're taking him? Just like that?"

"He needs to get cleaned, Ren."

Ren shifts a little, feeling the eyes of the Thieves on him. Why are they watching him so intently? Can't he do it himself? "I'll go with you."

Futaba shakes her head. "Less people, the better—especially no Mona. He's fragile tech outside his casing, and I have experience maintaining fragile tech. Maybe not like him, but close."

"So he's going to live with you for a while?"

"Yes." She turns to Akechi. "Is that okay?"

The android nods.

"There, he's fine with it. He kinda needs this to live, you know? Anyway, I'll see you guys in two days!"

With a firm hold on Akechi's wrist, she urges him to follow her and they make their way back into the station. Ren watches them leave; Akechi looks back at him once and gives a small wave goodbye. Ren waves back and they disappear from view, down the steps and back underground. His hand falls to his side and he's unsure of what to do.

With that, they all go their separate ways; some follow the path Futaba and Akechi took, others find their way into central street. Soon, only Ren, Morgana and Makoto are left standing by the proud statue of  _ Hachiko. _ Ren leans against the base, careful not to squish Morgana. "Not leaving yet, Makoto?"

The girl regards him seriously, her expression unreadable. "Aren't you?"

Ren shrugs. Mona watches them both. "Just enjoying the scenery."

"Uh huh…" 

She doesn't quite move as she looks somewhere into space, pensive, visibly searching for something to say. Ren watches her unabashedly, obviously expectant. Makoto doesn't reveal anything, but she does pull out her phone. "Do you want Sis's phone number?"

The fact she pulled out her phone already means it isn't actually a question. Still, Ren hesitates. "What for?"

"Just in case you want to talk."

"... To your sister?"

"Yes."

Well, Ren isn't going to turn down a prosecutor's phone number—not after his encounters with police. He nods and takes out his phone too, typing out the number and saving it. He doesn't know what he'll ever do with it, but it's nice to have the option, he supposes. Better to be prepared for anything.

"She's open, you know."

"Sae-san?"

Makoto nods as she slips the phone back into her pocket. "I think out of all of us, she'll understand the most."

Oh.

That sour taste is in Ren's mouth again. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Makoto."

The brunette smiles, soon waves goodbye like the others and she disappears into the square, leaving Ren alone with Mona. 

Ren doesn't quite feel the need to go home yet, but doesn't know what else to do with himself either. He's not sure why, but  _ something _ simply takes a hold of him. He can't find the energy to hang out with people (his phone is admittedly full of messages he'd been ignoring), content to just keep to himself and the other Thieves. He can't think of anything he needs to do, either—other than homework, which requires him to go back home. Window shopping didn't seem appealing either. He takes a seat on a bench.

"Ren?"

"Hm?" He looks at Morgana, who peers up at him from the depths of the bag with large, concerned eyes.

"Where are we going?"

Ren shrugs again and looks at the sky. The clouds roll lazily across the expanse of bright blue, uncaring. The sky begins to look like a dome stretched above him instead of a flat canvas, and suddenly Ren feels more lost and insignificant than ever. "I dunno, Mona."

Morgana looks up too. "It's a nice day out."

The world keeps spinning…

"Do you want to go to Inoshikara Park?"

"What for?"

"It's a nice day out," Morgana repeats.

The clouds keep moving, rolling across the sky lazily, going nowhere but still moving forward, letting the wind carry them wherever. Ren breathes in, breathes out—

"Yeah, okay." Ren hops up and gives a cat like stretch. "We can pass by a temple and buy a charm."

"For Akechi?"

"Yeah. He'd like that, right?"

"You could take pictures too," Morgana suggests. "We can pass by Futaba's place and see if we can visit him."

Ren smiles. "Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akechi, is that you?!
> 
> What do you think? Please leave your thoughts below, they're very important to me. <3
> 
> [shameless plug start]  
> If you're curious about how I scream about my fics and AUs every now and again, you can mosey on over to [@undead_rabbit](https://twitter.com/undead_rabbit). I recommend you read the pinned tweet. I also draw stuff, over at [@riverspines](https://twitter.com/riverspines).


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